My love, my enemy, my pain
by FatalXLove
Summary: After Draco's attempted suicide Harry must take Draco under his wing. Can they give eachother what they've been missing and long for? WARNING: HPXDM
1. Chapter 1 PART I

_Disclaimer: Yeah we all know I don't own Harry Potter; I just like to borrow the characters and make them do dirty things lol ._

_WARNING: Extreme violence & Sexual content.  
_

* * *

_To my love: Harry_

_I can't take it anymore; my life, my envies nature, my hidden feelings . . . everything. I no longer feel cheerfulness nor do I feel grief. It's pure pain, all the time. I blame you, my love. For hating me as I hate you and for loving me as I love you. I could never tell you my feelings or tell you that I in fact feel the same pain as you. I do not regret my love for you; I regret my existence in this world. Please remember me fondly after the pain dulls._

_Forever yours,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Draco stared down at the letter in his hand, he had meant to send it so many times but couldn't bring himself too. He thought that perhaps Harry would be better off without knowing what he truly felt. The last thing he wanted was to cause Harry more pain. He cringed looking at the words that had spilled out onto the page.

He was determined to end his life but something had stopped him, something in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't let up. He loved Harry, with every fiber of his soul and for some reason he couldn't accept the fact that he would never be with him. So many emotions were agonizing, blood rushed to his head in a slip second giving him an automatic headache. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

Harry was covered in pure sweat, his body shaking all over. Once again, another nightmare but this time it wasn't about Lord Voldemort. The very last person he would have thought to be in his dream; Draco Malfoy. Harry sat up and glanced around the room which was completely dark. He could hear the soft breaths of Ron in the bed across the room. Harry turned on the lamp next to him and wiped the sweat off across his face.

He then recalled the dream; everything was black and white, absolutely no color at all. Draco was lying down in the middle of the street people just passing a long completely ignoring the dying boy. Harry could tell by his face that he was in pain; everything was mute so he could only try to read his lips. Then the word traced across his lips "Potter" He ran over to him and lifted him up in his arms.

He was trying to tell Harry something but he was fading. Harry looked down at Draco's arm that was savagely torn apart. A pool of blood filled the sidewalk and Draco's silver eyes were now a shade of black. And for the first time in Harry's life he saw a tear past down Draco Malfoy's face.

Harry looked up to see Ron had woken up.

"Harry, are you alright?" He said sounding concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bad dream." Harry said turning out the light and pulling the covers back over his head.

* * *

Draco walked to the bathroom making sure he didn't wake anyone up. He looked at himself in the mirror, he looked terrible; his eyes were lined with black as though he hadn't slept in days, his face had gone deathly pale and he was shaking all over. He let his head drop breathing in and out steadily and looked at the razor in his right hand and placed the note to Harry on the sink. The blade was brand new and the shining silver made Draco's eyes gleam. He rolled up his sleeve and stared down at his pale skin with scars all up and down his arm, some that were years old. He told himself that he wasn't going to cry but there was no stopping himself. The first tear fell down from his eyes and landed on his arm. Completely frustrated with himself he slashed his arm deeply blood spilling out instantly on the floor. He automatically became dizzy and fell to the floor.

* * *

The next morning Harry woke up to someone knocking at the door. It must have not been a Gryffindor otherwise they would have just said the password. Ron was a heavy sleeper so he didn't even flinch. Harry looked over at the clock that read 6:30. It was far too early for breakfast. He climbed out of bed stumbling a few times before reaching the door. He opened it to see Blaise, Draco's right hand man standing there with rage filled eyes.

"Blaise?" Harry said slightly confused.

"Potter, you had better come with me." He said leaning against the door.

"What? Why? It's 6:30 in the morning." Harry said rubbing his eyes.

"I don't care! You need to come now. Draco is in the hospital."


	2. Chapter 2

Draco woke up to the smell of a hospital and the rusty smell of his blood; people were crowded around him yelling and screaming things at one another.

"_He's lost too much blood!"_

"_Mr. Malfoy, can you hear us?"_

Draco's vision was a complete blur. He knew he wasn't dead. In heaven there wouldn't be screaming, and he wouldn't be able to smell his own blood. He had hoped that maybe he was dying. He wanted to yell at the doctors and tell them to stop trying to save him, he _wanted _to die, and he _wanted_ to leave. But mostly he didn't want to have to face Harry. He could just imagine the disappointment and shame in his eyes. After a few minutes things started to calm down. There was a beeping sound coming from a machine next to him and cool breeze moving up his nose into his lungs. He realized that he wasn't going to die and he would have to face Harry. _Why didn't they just let me die . . .?_ Draco thought trying to hold back his tears but everything hurt all over. His arm was wrapped in bandages and there was a tingling sensation running through his body. He could hear the soft sounds of whispers a few feet away from him.

Without another word Blaise dragged Harry down the main hall into the Hospital wing.

"Blaise! What's going on?" Harry was struggling to get free from Blaise's grip.

Right outside the hospital wing Blaise took Harry by his arms and pushed him up against the door.

"Listen, Potter. You're more involved in this than you know." Blaise starred at Harry his eyes once rage filled now replaced with sorrow.

"What's going on?" Harry said staring back at Blaise.

Blaise released Harry's shoulders and opened the door to the hospital and pointed over at Draco. He was lying down on a bed, an IV attached to his left arm and tubes coming out of his noise which were attached to an oxygen machine. The sight sent a shiver down Harry's spine. It was just like his dream . . .

Dumbledore was standing next to Draco's bed. As soon as he saw Harry he walked over quickly gripping his shoulders making eye contact with him.

"Something terrible has happened, Harry." Dumbledore's voice was much lower than usual. Harry turned his head around and glanced at Draco once more before facing his headmaster.

"I don't understand Professor, what happened to him?"

"Mr. Malfoy, tried to commit suicide last night. We almost lost him."

Harry's eyes were wide and filled with fear. Draco was the last person he would have ever thought to try to kill himself.

"But, why would he do such a thing?"

"Draco isn't all what he has made himself out to be, Harry. He feels things just as you do."

"What does this have to do with me, professor?"

Dumbledore signed and took out a letter that was in his pocket and handed it to Harry. Harry took the letter and his eyes traced a long the words that Draco had written. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach over and over again in the same spot. Harry looked at the letter once more and sighed in disbelief.

"How . . . I don't understand, Professor. Draco hates me."

"Like I said Harry, Draco has feelings. He doesn't show them and when he does it's in a negative way. His father was exactly the same."

"What must I do?" Harry asked sounding utterly helpless.

"Harry, this is a lot to take on, Mr. Malfoy had expected to be dead; he is not prepared to face you knowing this information. So be careful. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir"

Dumbledore patted his shoulder and walked out of the hospital. Blaise was leaning against Draco's bed staring down at his friend. Harry walked over and looked down at Draco then up at Blaise.

"I suppose you know now, don't you?" Blaise said coldly.

"I'm really sorry, Blaise." Harry said trying to sound sympathetic.

"I don't need your pity, Potter. I need you to help him."

"What do you mean?"

"As far as I know you are the only person who can stop him from making a mistake, help him Harry. Please." Blaise was trying not to make contact with Harry. His voice was cracking and the last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of Harry.

"He's my best friend, Harry. He's all I've got."

Harry placed his hand on Blaise's shoulder.

"I'll do my best."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had fallen asleep in the chair next to Draco's bed. Blaise, left for the night giving Harry clear instructions that if something were to happen to fetch him right away. Draco's eyes opened slowly. He had to scan his eyes around the room first before he could see clearly. Then there he was; Harry sleeping soundly, like an angel. Draco's heart was pounding feeling as though it was in his throat. Harry twitched and lifted his head up slowly to stare back at Draco's silver eyes. As silence passed between them, Harry rubbed his eyes and leaned forward.

"Draco . . .?"

"Potter." Draco tried to sound as normal as possible but everything ached.

"How are you feeling? Should I get a nurse?" Harry went to press the call button but Draco stopped him.

"No, I'm fine."

Another silence passed between them, but this one was far more intense. Draco looked as if he was going to cry and Harry was shivering.

"Draco . . . we need to talk."

Draco tried to look away from Harry to hide his expression. He knew he was going to cry it was only a matter of time.

"What about?"

"Draco, you know very well what about."

Draco's sadness was replaced with anger, but not towards Harry. He was so angry at himself for not cutting deeper, for giving himself a slight chance that he might live. Everything was such a mess, he couldn't be with Harry, and he knew that. His father was ashamed of him, and the whole school thought he was a death eater. There was nothing to live for, nothing at all.

"I have nothing to say to you!"

"Well you seemed to have a lot to say in this letter!"

Harry dug in his pocked for the letter and held it up for Draco to see.

"Potter, I thought I was going to die . . . it just seemed like a good idea at the time." Draco's voice trailed off somewhere even he didn't know.

"So what your saying is you just decided that you would play one last trick on me and confess your love?"

"I didn't confess my love for you, Potter. I don't even remember writing that."

Harry looked at the note and then back at Draco. Something about Draco's expression was different; he had never seen him like this before.

"I see," Harry put the note down next to Draco and arose from his seat. "Well then I guess there's no reason for me to be here, is there?"

"Guess not."

Harry nodded and sighed before making his way to the door.

"Oh by the way," Harry turned back to face Draco.

"I'm straight." Harry gave Draco and slight shrug and walked out the door.

After Harry said that he questioned himself. He knew deep down that there was a possibility that he was gay but he could never put those words across himself.

* * *

Draco wanted so badly to run after him, grab him by the shoulders and kiss him. He wanted him to know everything; His hopes, his dreams, his fears. But something was coming between himself and the boy who lived. Something he couldn't quite explain. He wondered if Harry was really straight or if he was pretending as he was. At that moment, he realized just how a like Harry and himself were.

Harry walked back to his room and entered to see Ron curled up on the couch reading a book. He looked up at Harry with a slight grin.

"Hey there mate, where were you today? You missed Snape's class, he was furious."

Harry signed and sat down next to Ron.

"I spent the whole day in the hospital wing with Malfoy."

"Yeah, I heard he went mental or something. Why were you there?"

"Blaise dragged me out of bed this morning and took me to see Draco. He tried to commit suicide last night."

"I'll be bloody damned, who would have thought Malfoy would be suicidal? I almost feel bad for him."

"There was a letter he wrote to me.."

"Really?! What did it say?"

Harry thought for a minute. He didn't want to tell Ron what it truly said for various purposes, one being he didn't want Ron to think he was having a secret affair with Malfoy.

"Oh nothing really, he was just apologizing for being a jerk to me over the years."

"Wow, so did you talk to him?"

"Uh, no. He was sleeping."

"Bloody hell, when he wakes up he's gonna have the whole school laughing at him if they find out about that letter." Ron laughed

Harry pretended to laugh with him, inside he felt so terrible. He knew that Draco was lying to him but why should he care? He didn't owe him anything.

"Are you going back to see him when he wakes up?"

"No . . ."


	4. Chapter 4

That night it was almost impossible for Harry to close his eyes without seeing Draco. With every toss and turn he could only imagine the pain and agony in Draco's eyes. Harry sat up in frustration wiping the drips of sweat on his forehead.

"Ughhhh . . . why can't I sleep?!" Harry closed his eyes and brought his hands up to his face. Dumbledore's voice was replaying over and over in his head . . .

"_Harry, this is a lot to take on, Mr. Malfoy had expected to be dead; he is not prepared to face you knowing this information. So be careful. Do you understand?"_

"_Harry, Draco has feelings. He doesn't show them and when he does it's in a negative way."_

Harry's eyes shot open; he couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. Bloody hell! Did he not even listen to what Dumbledore had said? Harry threw himself back on his bed and sighed in pure frustration.

_How could I have been so stupid?_ Harry thought.

Harry rubbed his forehead; his scar was hurting for some reason. He closed his eyes once again but this time it wasn't a suffering image of Draco. He was smiling at Harry, a smile that he'd never seen before. With the pleasant image in his head his drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Draco sighed looking out the window next to his bed. The moon was so close and there seemed to be thousands of stars. It was the first time he ever admired the sky; it was something he took for granted as he did a lot of other things. He closed his eyes and imagined Harry holding him close to his chest and whispering _I love you. _He shook his head; there was no way that was going to happen. He needed to stop thinking about it, it was impossible to even hope because he had done that his entire life and it never did any good. His father hated him and for two reasons only; he refused to become a death eater and he was gay. He regrets everyday of his life telling his father, if he had known his father would stop loving him the thought of telling him would have never crossed his mind. He was a pure embarrassment to the Malfoy family and his father made sure everyone knew that. Draco cringed thinking of his fathers face; pure disappointment and rage filled eyes. He wanted someone to reassure him that he would be okay, someone to care for him, someone to be there always. Every time he thought; Harry passed a long in his mind.

_Perhaps, _He thought. _There is hope yet . . ._

* * *

The next morning Harry arose and looked at his clock; it was 6:00 am. He couldn't wait any longer he needed to see Draco and he needed to set things right. He got out of bed making sure not to wake Ron and threw on his clothes and his robe.

He opened the door to the hospital wing; there was no one in sight except for Draco sleeping soundly in the corner of the room. Harry made his way over, making no attempt to think about what he was going to say.

Draco awoke to Harry standing next to him staring directly in his eyes. Draco thought he was dreaming so he tried to close his eyes tightly and open them again but the image of Harry remained.

"Great, now I'm hallucinating . . ." Draco sighed and pulled the covers over his chest.

"Draco, you're not hallucinating. I'm standing right here and I need to talk to you."

"Alright, dream Harry what do you want?"

"Draco this is not a dream!" Harry touched Draco's face to assure him he wasn't dreaming.

Draco looked almost frightened by this and stared back at Harry's bright green eyes.

"What are you doing here then?" Draco's voice was low.

"Draco, listen to me. I know that you meant what you said in that letter. If you didn't you would have never wrote it in the first place. Something like that doesn't just come out of nowhere. And even though you can be a stubborn ass-hole I know you're not really like that and you have feelings for me. So I'm fulfilling my promise to, Blaise. I'm going to take care of you, and come here everyday until you can breathe on your own. And there's nothing that is going to stop me. If there's one thing that you've learned about me, Draco is that I don't give up easily and not without a fight."

Harry had to take a deep breath after his speech. He felt like such an enormous amount of weight had lifted off his shoulders. Draco stared at him in disbelief, he couldn't think of the first thing to say to Harry. Before Draco could even speak Harry leaned down and kissed Draco softly. Surprised by his own actions Harry broke away stepping back slowly from Draco's bed. Silence had caught up with both of them and there was nothing Harry could do but run.

"I'll see you later, Draco!" Harry said while running out of the hospital wing.

Draco was flushed and had a smirk on his face. Did Harry just kiss him? He brought his fingers up to his lips and felt the warmness. He smiled and laughed to himself. That Harry was something else.

Harry ran back to his room running short on breathe. He tried so hard no to laugh but the whole situation just seemed so funny. What had come over him? Why did he kiss Draco and then run away like a little school girl? Harry blushed thinking of the look on Draco's face.

_I guess I'm not as straight as I thought . . . _ Harry thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Around noon time, Blaise went to visit Draco. Draco was lying on his bed in complete silence.

"Hey, Draco, how are you feeling?"

Draco turned his head to face Blaise and managed a half smile.

"Better."

Blaise pulled up a chair and sat next to Draco.

"How are things going with Potter?"

"I don't really know."

"Well you look much better, has he come to see you yet?"

"He did this morning."

"And?"

"Nothing, he just said he would be back later."

"So are you getting Potter to fall for you or what?" Blaise laughed.

"I'm getting there . . ." Draco smirked.

* * *

Harry was having lunch with Ron and Hermione. Hermione was on one of her rampages again with Ron. Harry decided to block them out; he had far more important things to worry about than Ron and Hermione's arguments. They both loved each other and personally Harry was getting annoyed by the whole thing. Why couldn't they just tell each other how they felt instead of arguing 24/7? He drifted off thinking about Draco. He still wasn't sure if he actually had feelings for Draco or if the kiss was just a spur the moment thing.

"Harry?" Hermione said sounding annoyed since she had only said his name five times in a row.

Harry snapped out of it met Hermione's gaze.

"Sorry, what?"

"Ron told me what happened with Draco."

Harry looked at Ron then back at Hermione.

"Yeah, so?"

"So, why aren't you going back to see him?"

"Because it has nothing to do with me."

"Harry, it has everything to do with you. He wouldn't have made an effort to apologize to you."

"Hermione, I'll go see him later. Right now I need to be alone."

Harry took one last bite of his sandwich and walked away. He hated the fact he was lying to his friends but he was too scared to tell them what was really going on. And what would happen if he really was gay or even worse if he actually had feelings for Draco? He didn't even want to think about it. He looked at his watch and realized he should probably get back to the hospital wing and bring Draco lunch. He must be tired of hospital food.

The doors to the hospital wing swung open and Harry walked in with a tray of food. Blaise was still sitting next to Draco.

"Ah, Potter." Blaise stood up and turned to Draco.

"I'll see you later." Blaise winked at him causing Draco to blush.

"Thanks Potter." Blaise whispered placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

After Blaise left Harry moved closer to Draco's bed and handed him the tray.

"Thanks." Draco said trying to sit up.

"I figured you must be tired of Hospital food."

Draco nodded and took a bite of the sandwich. Harry sat down in the chair and looked down avoiding Draco's wandering eyes.

"So," Draco wiped his mouth. "We're not as straight as we thought, are we Potter?" Draco chuckled.

"Shut up . . ." Harry lowered his head even more.

"The famous Harry Potter; gay . . . that will be quite a story."

"Shut up, Malfoy! I didn't come here to discuss my sexual orientation."

"Then why are you here; to take care of me? Admit it you wouldn't be here unless you felt something between us."

Harry stood up.

"I told you I made a promise to, Blaise. you're so blind you can't see what's right in front of you. Blaise was devastated when he found out about this; did you even consider what your death would do to him?! You're so selfish, and I'm sorry but I could never feel anything for someone like you."

Harry turned away without another word and left Draco in silence.


	6. Chapter 6

Draco hated when Harry was right. He was always right about everything making him look like a total fool. He really had never stopped to think about how Blaise would react to his death, how much he would have hurt him. He owed him an apology. Draco pressed the call button and the nurse came.

"Do you need your pain medication, Mr. Malfoy?"

"No, can you get Blaise down here when he gets a chance?"

"Certainly"

She walked away and Draco sighed. He had to make things right, something he wasn't necessarily good at.

Blaise made his way into the Hospital wing. He was afraid that something had happened. He ran in quickly to see Draco was perfectly fine.

"Draco?" Blaise walked over to his bed. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I need to talk to you though."

Blaise nodded and pulled the chair closer to the side of his bed and sat down.

"First, let me start by telling you that I'm sorry."

Blaise opened his mouth to speak.

"Please, let me finish." Blaise closed his mouth and leaned forward in his chair. "I've been a terrible friend to you, and don't try to convince me otherwise because I know I'm a jerk. Someone made me realize today that if I had died that night I would have been giving up something worth living for. Blaise, you've been there for me always and I've taken it for granted. I didn't even once consider your feelings about this and I'm so ashamed for that. Someday, I hope that you'll forgive me and I will try my best to do so. For now, I just want to say that I'm sorry."

Blaise stared at him, completely shocked.

"I forgive you . . ." Blaise spoke in almost a whisper. "I just wish you could have told me what was going on. I hated the fact you thought your only way out was by killing yourself."

Draco's eyes became watery. He sat up and gripped Blaise's shoulder and hugged him.

"I'm sorry . . ." Draco said burying his head in Blaise's shoulder.

"You need to tell him, Draco." Draco looked up at Blaise meeting his gaze.

"What?"

"You need to tell Potter how you feel. You been given a second chance and I've never known you to give up on a fight."

Blaise patted Draco's shoulder and left.

Draco realized he really blew it this afternoon with Harry so he probably wouldn't even come back. Draco leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

_Why can't I just tell him the truth? _Draco closed his eyes tightly and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Harry had calmed down quite a bit after his argument with Draco. He leaned back and looked out his window at the clock tower that read 6:00 pm. Then there was a knock on his door. He stretched and walked over to the door and opened it to see Blaise.

"Kidnapping me again, Blaise?"

"That was hardly kidnapping, Potter." Blaise chuckled.

"Well, what can I do for you?"

"Well you can go down to the hospital wing and clean things up with Draco."

"Why should I?"

"Because, I'm asking you to."

"Why do you stick by him, Blaise? What has he ever done for you?"

"I was just talking to him and Draco apologized . . . for everything. He said 'someone' made him realize there was something to live for. I'm just assuming that 'someone' was you."

"He said that?"

Blaise nodded.

"See you around, Potter."

Blaise turned and walked down the hallway. Harry shut the door and leaned up against it. He looked down at his robe and threw it on.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Harry walked into the Hospital wing. Draco was sleeping so Harry was going to sneak out so he wouldn't wake him.

"Potter?" Harry shut his eyes tightly and turned back around. "What are you doing here?"

Harry walked over to Draco timidly and sat down in the chair next to him.

"I heard you apologized to Blaise."

"Yes, I did."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because he's my friend and . . ."

"And?"

"And you were right. . . Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes, actually." Harry smirked. "Draco . . . There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What's that?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Draco sighed sounding a little annoyed.

"Now come on, you knew I was going to ask sooner or later."

Draco looked at Harry and a sudden wave of comfort fell over him. He didn't feel the need to hide behind his mask he had sheltered his life with. He wanted to tell him . . . everything.

"Harry, my whole life my path has been chosen for me by my father. He would always talk to me about becoming great things but these great things weren't always great to me. When my father became a death eater he had expected me to do the same but I didn't want that to be my future. He was disappointed in me; he said that I wasn't the son he raised. Things only got worse when he found out I was gay. He was ashamed of me and then he left. He didn't love me anymore and he made sure I knew that . . . I was only a disappointment to him and the family. I wasn't worthy anymore . . . Then rumors started circling around school about me being a death eater. While I was trying to cover my emotions for you and the loss of my father the school thought I was a death eater and most believed I was. Then the thought of losing you, was unbearable to me . . . and you didn't even know how I truly felt. The more pain you suffered, I suffered a long with you. The only emotion I could show you was anger until I actually made myself believe I truly hated you. But that's until I realized I couldn't hate you any longer . . . I loved you, Harry and I still do . . . very much."

Draco had been crying and Harry shed a few tears as well. Harry leaned forward and hugged Draco tightly. Draco buried his face into Harry's chest, the tears still streaming down his face.

"Draco . . . I'm glad you told me what was going on but . . . I'm sorry I can't do this right now."

Draco pulled away from Harry.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't give you what you seek . . . I'm sorry but I can't say 'I love you' because I don't know how I'm feeling."

Draco's eyes were welling up with more tears. It pained Harry to see Draco like that but he truly didn't know how to deal with this. This was someone that was supposed to be his rival, not his lover.


	7. Chapter 7

Draco curled himself up on the bed and buried his face into his knees. He tried so hard to make himself stop crying but the more he tried the more the tears fell. All this time and all of these years there were never any tears now everything was hitting him all at once. Completely helpless his let his silent tears turn to sobs. Ashamed of his behavior he slammed his fist down on the bed and growled in anger. He needed to get out of the hospital, so he did.

* * *

Harry threw himself on his bed finally letting the air subside through his lungs. Everyone was at dinner but he didn't feel hungry, even thoug he felt completely empty inside. Draco's name passed through his mind several times before becoming frustrated. He picked up his pillow and chucked it across the room, hitting Ron directly in the face as he was entering the room.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ron said picking up Harry's pillow off the floor.

"Sorry Ron, I just got a little frustrated."

Ron sat down at the end of Harry's bed.

"What's wrong with you, mate? You've been acting strange lately. Hermione thinks so too."

"Sorry, I've just had a lot of things on my mind."

"Harry, we've been best friends for years, whatever it is you can tell me."

"It's nothing Ron, really."

"Alright Harry." Ron stood up. "I know something is bothering you. I won't push you to tell me but when you're ready to talk I'm here for you, alright?"

Harry nodded. Ron smiled slightly and turned to walk back out the door.

"I'll be in the library with Hermione, if you need me."

* * *

Draco stumbled a few times getting off his bed. He looked at the clock and realized no one would be in their rooms; they would be either at dinner or study hall in the library. He picked up his pillows and shoved them under the covers to make it look like he was sleeping then made his way out of the hospital. As he was walking down the hallway he was finding it hard to breathe. He had been off oxygen for only five minutes and it was hard for him to breathe. The nurse said it would take about a week for his breathing to be normal again from the loss of so much blood. He didn't care though, nothing mattered to him at the moment. A heartbreak is the worse pain of them all and he had to suffer it while he could barely breathe. Finally he made it to his room and opened the door quietly looking both ways to make sure no one was in. He walked over to his bed and layed down and realized how much he missed his bed; it was far more comfortable than the hospital bed. Then he realized that he had a stash of wine coolers under his bed. He tipped his top half off of the bed and stuck his head under and felt around for the bottles. When he found them he grabbed the case and brought it up on the bed.

"Ah, just what I need." Draco sighed in pure relief.

He snapped open one of the bottle caps and brought the bottle to his lips and chugged down half of the bottle. There were six bottles and he was sure he would drink them all until Harry's image was clean out of his mind. Draco didn't care how drunk he would be, being drunk was far better than dealing with a broken heart. He chugged down the rest of the wine and cracked open another bottle.

After about the third one, Draco felt himself getting a buzz. Before it only used to take two and he would be gone. The buzz had only made him think of Harry more so he chugged down another bottle; this one being his forth. The room was slightly blurry but that didn't stop him. He drank the last two remaining bottles and threw himself down on the bed falling off and hitting the floor hard. Instead of reacting in pain he started laughing, like he was insane but that laughter soon turned to tears and rage. He barely managed to stand up when Blaise came pushing in through the door.

"Draco?!" Blaise ran over to him and caught him just before he was about to hit the ground.

Draco could barely see, Blaise's face was a complete blur.

"Draco, what the hell are you doing out of bed?" Blaise looked at him then noticed all of the empty wine coolers on his bed.

"Draco! Did you drink all of those?!"

Draco was leaning on his shoulder and twisted his head around to see the empty wine coolers.

"N-No it was my evil twin; he just left a minute ago . . ." Draco was laughing a slurring his words.

"Draco! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?! You could get alcohol poisoning. Come on, we need to get you back to the hospital."

Blaise carried Draco down to the hospital and placed him back in his bed. Blaise pulled up a chair and sat next to him. Draco was dazed off into another world; he looked completely out of it.

"Draco, why did you drink so much?"

"I t-told you, it wasn't me . . . it was . . ." Before Draco could finish what he was saying he started to cry, no scratch that; not cry, sob.

"Harry . . ." Draco blurted out right before passing out.

BANG!

Harry shot up and looked at his door. Someone was knocking excessively. Harry got up quickly a little annoyed.

"Ugh, what now?!" Harry opened the door and saw Blaise.

"Harry, I need you to come, now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Please, it's Draco."

Without even thinking of what he was getting himself into Harry threw on his robe and followed Blaise to the hospital wing. Draco was hanging half way off his bed, slightly awake. Harry walked over to Draco and sighed in anger.

"What happened?" He looked at Blaise.

"He drank six wine coolers."

"What?! How did he get out of bed?"

"I have no idea, I came up stairs to get my books and he was in our room."

Harry turned to Draco and tried to lift him up but Draco shoved him away.

"L-Leave me alone, Potter! I can do it myself!"

"Draco, listen to me, your drunk. We need to get you hooked back up to oxygen."

"Why do you care if I'm drunk?! You don't care about me!" Draco yelled.

Blaise hit the call button and the nurse came rushing in.

"Oh God, what happened?!"

She ran over and hooked Draco back up to the oxygen. She put her nose up in the air and smelt alcohol.

"Has he been drinking?" She looked at Blaise and Harry.

"Yes, he must have snuck out of here when we were all at dinner."

The nurse took another IV and put it in his arm. Draco protested in pain.

"Aw! You bitch!"

"Draco, stop!" Harry yelled.

"Fuck off, Potter! You don't give a shit about me or what I do! So just get the hell out of here! I hate you!"

Harry stood their in silence and glared at Draco.

"I must be stupid to think that you might have changed, Draco. More importantly to think I might have ever loved you back." Harry glared at Draco's unemotional face and turned away.

"Lousy drunk." Harry muttered before walking out the doors.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry raced back to his room muttering curses the whole way until he was stopped by Snape.

"Where are we off to Mr. Potter?" Snape raised his eye brows.

"I was just going back to my room, Professor." Harry said sounding extremely irritated by Snape's prying.

"Coming back from the hospital are we?"

"I was just visiting, Draco."

"Ah, yes. Such a pity he had to go and disappoint his father like that."

"You don't know anything about that!" Harry yelled.

"I'd watch your tone with me, Mr. Potter. You may have become famous among the other students but I'm not easily fooled."

Snape glared at Harry before letting him pass.

* * *

Blaise covered Draco up with another blanket making sure not to wake him. He had finally gotten tired from crying and fell asleep. He stared at his friend; the paleness in his face was almost glowing. Draco looked sick, but not sick as in a cold or some other virus. He looked like he had been under enormous amounts of stress and pain. As much as it pained him there was nothing he could do to help him. Broken hearts mend in time, or so they say.

"Goodnight Draco." Blaise whispered before leaving the room.

* * *

Draco was running along of which seemed like a never ending road. Harry was reaching out for him calling his name non stop. Draco tried to pick up his speed but the more he tried the further Harry was pulled away from him.

"Harry!"

Draco forced himself forward trying so hard to reach him.

"Harry! Please don't leave me!"

In a split second Harry was gone and so was the road. He was in a dark room with only a single light over his head.

"Harry . . . I'm so sorry." Draco kneeled down and sat alone in the darkness.

"_Mr. Malfoy"_

"_Mr. Malfoy."_

"_Draco!"_

Draco's eyes shot open to see the nurse standing beside his bed.

"It's time for your pain medication."

Draco tried to sit up and felt a sudden rush of pain to his temples.

"Ughhhh . . . I have such a headache." Draco said rubbing his forehead.

"Serves you right. Next time if you need to go somewhere just ask me and I'll help you, but don't ever disconnect your oxygen."

"Sorry."

The nurse gave Draco his pills and watched him swallow.

"Alright then, let me know if you need anything."

After she left the room Draco felt more alone than he had ever felt in his life. He had this terrible feeling that he said something that he shouldn't have. And he was positive it was to Harry.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Draco threw down his fist and closed his eyes.

A sudden flash back came clear into his mind.

"_Fuck off, Potter! You don't give a shit about me or what I do! So just get the hell out of here! I hate you!"_

"_I must be stupid to think that you might have changed, Draco. More importantly to think I might have ever loved you back."_

Draco tightened his eyes and cringed at the voices in his head.

"God, I really screwed up." Draco said slowly opening his eyes.

Draco sat up and hit the call button.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Malfoy?'

"Uh, no. I was just wondering if I could have some paper and a pen."

"Sure."

The nurse goes into her office and hands Draco lined paper and a feather pen.

"Thanks."

Draco starred down at the blank sheet and began writing. He didn't even know where to begin but his thoughts were pouring out uncontrollably like an avalanche. When he was finished he hit the call button again.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Could you forward this to Harry Potter? It's important."

The nurse took the letter and nodded.

"Sure thing."

* * *

Harry woke up to more knocking on his door but this time it was much gentler. Harry yawned and shuffled his feet over to the door pushing down his messy hair. He opened the door and saw Draco's nurse.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Mr. Potter."

"What's going on?! Is Draco okay?" Harry said frantically.

"Yes, he's fine. He wanted me to give you this." She took out the letter in her pocket and handed it to Harry.

"Oh, thanks."

She nodded and walked away.

Harry looked down both of the hallways before shutting the door. He looked over at Ron who was still sleeping.

_God, nothing wakes him up. _Harry thought.

Harry sat down at the end of his bed and opened the folded letter. Harry's eyes passed along the first sentence:

_Harry,_

_I behaved as an imbecile last night, and I don't expect pity nor do I expect forgiveness. What I said last night I truly did not mean, I never wanted to hurt you and the thought of hurting you pains me, it pains me to my core. I'm so terribly sorry and I hope in time you will realize how much you truly mean to me. Please accept my apology and join me for dinner tonight at 8:00_

_Yours always,_

_Draco_

Harry looked up and sighed. He had never read a more truthful, beautiful, apology letter. He didn't want to admit it but Harry was a lot like Draco. Harry had never felt loved in his life until Hermione and Ron came along. And now that Sirius was dead, Hermione and Ron were the only family he had. Some part of him didn't understand how it felt to love someone or to be loved by another. He wanted to love Draco but he didn't know how to show it. Thoughts of Hermione and Ron were racing through his mind; what would happen if they didn't except it? What would happen if they abandoned him just like everyone else? He didn't know if what he had with Draco was an infatuation or love. He had to find out.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry stood in front of the mirror fixing the collar to his black button down shirt. He brushed his hair out of his face but his messy locks fell back down above his eyes. He sighed.

"Well, this is as good as it's going to get."

Ron walked in and gave Harry a confused star.

"Harry . . .?"

Harry turned around to face Ron.

"What?"

"I know you've been upset lately . . . but . . .?" Ron pointed to Harry shaking his head, eyes wide in confusion.

"Thanks Ron."

"No, I mean why are you dressing nice for?"

"I have somewhere to go."

"Really? Is that was this is all about; A girl?"

Harry fastened the top button of his shirt and stared at Ron.

"Well . . . not exactly."

"What is it then?"

"Ron, I don't have time to talk about this right now."

Harry was frustrated, not a Ron but because he wanted to tell Ron the truth so badly. He wanted him to understand and comfort him, it was far too eccentric for him to bear alone but he knew there was nothing Ron could do. He had to go through this on his own.

"Why not? Jeez, Harry I'm your best friend."

"I know that, Ron . . . but I have to do this on my own. You can't help me."

Ron stiffened his chest and frowned.

"Fine." Ron said almost stomping away.

"_I wish I could tell you Ron,, but I have to do this on my own . . ."_ Harry thought before glancing back at himself once more in the mirror.

Harry made his way down the hall taking a deep breath with every step. He thought he heard someone whispering so he turned around to glance behind him. He looked back down the hall way and in the direction he was walking but there was no one there. He continued on his way and suddenly he was tackled by Fred and George. Harry barely caught himself before hitting the floor. Fred and George bursted into laughter and stood up to give each other a high five.

"Hahahahahaha! We really got him Fred."

Harry stood up brushing himself off, a livid look in his eyes utterly unamused.

"Now is not a good time, guys."

"Why so tense Harry?" Both Fred and George said at the same time.

Fred then realizes that Harry was dressed in nice clothing.

"ooooooooh! Where are we off to?" Fred spins Harry around jokingly.

"None of your business . . ." Harry shoved Fred and George out of the way.

"Oh, I get it now! Harry's got a girlfriend!" George yelled.

Harry continued on his way hearing the distance laugher of Fred and George and them repeating "Harry's got a girlfriend, Harry's got a girlfriend!"

* * *

Draco was wearing a dark green shirt and black pants. There were two dinner trays pushed together with silverware and plates both equally straight on each side. There wasn't much he could do being stuck in the hospital so it wasn't going to be anything fancy. He turned himself over the bed taking the IV containing the fluid bag with him gently sitting down in the chair. He looked at his watch.

"_He's 20 minutes late . . . maybe he's not coming." _Draco thought.

The doors of the hospital swung as Harry made his way over to Draco. He was rather timid with each step like he was going to change his mind any minute, turn around and run. But he stuck his feet to the floor and moved himself forward. Harry stood before Draco with an unemotional expression. Draco tried to avoid eye contact with Harry placing his head low before gazing up at him.

SMACK!

Draco held his hand to his face in disbelief.

Harry couldn't believe he slapped him. He was becoming more and more like a girl every minute. Slapping someone across the face was a definite girl move but he lost control.

"How could you be so stupid; disconnecting your IV, you could have killed yourself! And you take it a step further by drinking more than your body weight in alcohol?! What were you thinking, Draco? Are you really that obtuse?!"

Harry stood there for a minute catching his breathe. He felt so much better after saying that to him, it was building up inside his stomach and he knew when he saw him it had to be said.

"Okay," Draco held his hand to his face. "I guess I deserved that . . ."

Harry sat down and took Draco's free hand.

"Draco, please promise me that you'll never do that again."

Harry made complete eye contact with him, the silver in his eyes reflected back into his emerald green eyes.

"I can't promise that, Harry."

"You have to! I'm not going to just sit around here and watch you kill yourself. I have better things to do with my time then worry about you . . ." Harry stood up and turned around trying to hide the tears forming in his eyes.

"Why are you so afraid to care? Harry, why?"

Harry turned around letting the tears fall unable to stop them.

"Because! If I love you then you'll leave me . . . you'll leave me like everyone else does. I'll hurt you, Draco and you'll hurt me! You can not get close to me . . . you just can't Draco, do you understand?! I destroy everything I touch!"

Harry fell to his knees sobbing in his hands. Every painful memory Harry had ever experienced was coming back, all at once in an uncontrollable force. He felt like knives were sticking in his chest and through his heart causing his wound to expand wider. Draco felt his heart start to pound. He had never seen Harry like this before, without thinking he took his IV and wheeled it over to Harry and bent down as much as he could and with his free arm wrapped it around Harry and pulled in tightly to his chest. Harry hesitated at first then let himself go and hug back just as tight brining his arms around Draco's waist. They were silent for a few moments rocking back and forth, Harry still sobbing and Draco trying his hardest not to cry with him.

"Harry . . ." Draco let Harry lean up from his chest.

Draco placed his hand on the side of his face stroking his cheek gently.

"You are strong, Harry. You are so much stronger than this, I've known you to get through anything and you'll be okay . . . you really will. And God forbid I should ever leave you, it would _have_ to be the death of me. I love you Potter, and there's no way I'm letting you go . . ." Draco smirked still holding on gently to Harry's face.

Their eyes were fighting each other trying to figure out the signal of the other one and what they were going to do. Draco pulled Harry's chin forward and kissed him very softly awaiting Harry's response. Harry's eyes were open at first then he gave into the kiss turning it into a passionate one. Harry brought his arms up around Draco neck and held on tight. He had never felt more at one with Draco nor had he ever felt his heart skip a beat like that.


	10. Chapter 10

Ron dragged Hermione by her in into a hidden corner in the library.

"For goodness sakes, Ron what's going on?"

"It's Harry."

"What? Is he alright?" Hermione asked worried.

"I don't know . . . haven't you noticed he's been acting strange lately? Skipping dinner and study hall?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to know what's going on?"

"Why don't we just ask him?"

"I've tried already, twice but he told me that I can't help him. He needs to do whatever it is on his own."

"So there's your answer, Ron. It's none of our business." Hermione went to walk away when Ron grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back over to him.

"There's something wrong, I know it, Hermione. He's our friend, we have to find out."

"How do you suppose we do that?"

"Well I just spoke to Fred and George and they said they saw Harry about an hour ago going in the direction towards the hospital wing."

"Fine, Ron. We'll go look for him. But I really think we should stay out of it."

"Hermione, for once, stop thinking." Without another word Ron pulled Hermione's hand out of the library.

* * *

Draco moved his hand down Harry's chest to unbutton his shirt. Harry's eyes widened.

"D-Draco, we shouldn't be doing this . . ."

"Potter, stop thinking about things that we shouldn't be doing. You have to understand, even though I love you I am a Slytherin and most importantly a Malfoy. And we always get what we want. And what I want is you." Without letting Harry speak Draco took his free hand and shoved Harry's lips to his. Draco wanted more than this; much more. He moved his tongue along Harry's bottom lip for a few moments before Harry let him explore his mouth. Harry made a slight moan and wrapped his arms back around Draco. Draco went to lean forward to lay on top of Harry but they both forgot something very important.

"Ow!" Draco sat back up immediately after the IV almost ripped through his hand.

Harry sat up and grabbed Draco's hand.

"I'm so sorry! I completely forgot about that."

"It's okay; it's not your fault I forgot too."

Harry helped Draco get to his feet and let him lean on his shoulder while he walked him over to the bed. Harry gently let Draco release him and sit down on the bed.

"Alright, let's pick up where we left off." Draco pulled Harry down by his shirt kissing him passionately. He went to lean more into the kiss then he pulled too hard on his hand again.

"Ow!" Draco forced himself backwards and scowled.

"God Dammit! I hate this thing, I can't even touch you!"

Harry took his free hand.

"It's okay, I can wait."

"You think you can wait, Potter but it will soon wear off and you'll lose control."

He grabbed Harry's collar and brought him closer and whispered seductively.

"Soon you won't be able to resist . . ."

Harry closed his eyes and felt cold sweat on his forehead though he felt like he was burning up.

* * *

"Ron, why don't we just check the hospital wing, which was the direction he was going."

"Alright, but I can't imagine why he would be there. He told me he wasn't going to see Draco anymore."

"Maybe he just changed his mind, you know Harry. He's always thinking of other people, never himself. I'm sure he took pity on Draco and accepted his apology."

"Well that would be great wouldn't it? Harry and Draco best friends!" Ron spoke with a severely sarcastic tone.

"I'm detecting a little jealousy." Hermione smirked.

"Oh, come on, Hermione; me jealous of that git?"

"Well what would you call it then?"

"I would call a friend being concerned about another friend."

"Whatever you say Ron."

Ron and Hermione walked to the Hospital doors and looked in to see Draco lying on his bed. But Harry wasn't there.

"See, I told you he wouldn't be there."

"Fine, I've looked enough, I'm going back to study. Snape's exam is tomorrow. Let me know if you find him."

"Alright . . ." Ron shrugged and leaned against the doors of the hospital wing.

"Where could he have gone?" Ron signed and leaned forward to walk away until something moving in the hospital wing caught his eye.

"I-I have to go." Harry said nervously.

"Why?"

"I told Ron and Hermione I would meet them in the library. Snape's exam is tomorrow so we have to study."

"Oh, alright then." Draco looked down.

Harry leaned in and kissed Draco lightly on the lips.

"Only two more days and you'll be out of here. I promise."

"And the sooner I can be with you." Draco smiled and his eyes grew heavy.

"Go ahead and sleep, I'll be back tomorrow."

Draco stopped fighting his eye lids and let them close. Harry leaned down and kissed Draco's forehead.

"I love you, Draco Malfoy." He whispered lightly near his hear.

Ron's heart was beating so fast he could barely comprehend what he just saw . . . Harry kissed Draco? Ron shook his head trying to get the image out of his mind. So many feelings were passing through Ron's body all at once; anger, sadness and above all betrayal. Harry lied to him; he had been lying to him all this time. Not to mention he was possibly gay and with none other than Draco Malfoy! Who was supposed to be his rival, his enemy! Ron then noticed Harry walking over to the door. He ducked down around a corner and watched Harry walk down the hallway, feeling like he was going to be sick. This couldn't be happening . . . he was losing his best friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry walked down to the library and found Hermione huddled in a corner with her face buried in a book. Hermione noticed Harry walking over and smiled.

"Harry!"

Harry smiled back and walked over to her and sat down.

"Hey Hermione."

"Where have you been? Ron and I went looking for you."

"Oh," Harry thought for a minute, there was no point in lying he would have to tell her eventually especially since he realized his feelings for Draco. "I was actually in the hospital wing . . ." Harry said nervously.

"Oh, really? Ron and I just checked a few minutes ago and you weren't there."

"Wait, you and Ron went up there?"

"Yes, I thought that maybe you went to see Draco, why what's the matter?"

"Uh, nothing . . . um, where's Ron now?"

"I don't know, I came down here after we looked in the hospital. But he stayed up there looking for you."

Harry turned completely white, he felt all the blood rush to his head with a single blow and his veins tingle up his arms. What happened if Ron found out? Harry could just picture the horrified and disgusted look on his face.

"Harry?"

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at Hermione.

"Yes? . . . What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine . . . I need to go find Ron."

Before Hermione could ask questions Harry stood up and left the library.

Harry entered his room to find Ron sitting at the end of his bed leaning forward, his hands formed into fists.

"Ron?"

Ron turned around quickly and glared at Harry.

"I've been looking for you." Harry said trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Why? So you can lie some more?"

"You sound angry."

"Damn right I'm angry!"

"Ron, listen to me, whatever you think . . . just let me explain." Harry's voice was cracking.

"Explain," Ron stood up, his face becoming red. "Explain what; how all you've been doing is lying to me? How you failed to mention that your gay and with none other than Malfoy!?"

"Ron, please. Just listen to me." Harry placed his hand on Ron's shoulder trying to calm him down but Ron just shrugged it off.

"Just stop it; I don't care what your excuses are!"

"But Ron, you didn't even give me a chance to explain! Think of how you would have felt in my position. I was afraid to tell you and Hermione, I didn't want you two to abandon me!"

Ron calmed down a little breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry, Ron, okay?"

Ron looked at him and then down at the floor occasionally switching his gaze back and forth.

"Sorry just isn't good enough."

Ron threw on his rob, walked out, and slammed the door behind him.

Harry closed his eyes and crouched down onto the floor, brining his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. This is exactly what he feared would happen. He knew that either way Ron would have acted this way, but Harry knew that lying only made the situation worse. Ron was his best friend; he was still was his best friend. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him, and he did severely. Harry feared that he may not be able to get himself out of this one and get Ron to forgive him. He had to find a way, Ron was like a brother to him and Hermione was like a sister. They _were_ his family and even if he had Draco, Ron and Hermione had been there for him since day one and have a special place in his heart that no one else could touch.

* * *

"That bastard lied to us, Hermione! And your not going to even be upset about it?!"

"Of course I'm upset; Ron but I can't help feeling bad for Harry. This must have been hard for him to go through. He was afraid to tell us, Ron. What does that tell you?"

"That he should trust us more!"

"No, Ron. Admit it; you would have reacted the same way you're reacting now."

"No, I wouldn't! The reason I'm reacting this way is because he lied about it."

"Ron, Harry is our friend. You said so yourself and friends except each other for who they are. I admit, Draco Malfoy isn't exactly my first choice for Harry but did you ever think to consider Harry's feelings on this?"

"Why should I? He didn't consider mine or yours."

"That's because it's not about us, Ron! For once, Harry is doing something for himself and whether you like it or not I'm standing by him. As should you."

Hermione gave Ron and dead stare and walked away.

Ron closed his eyes, so frustrated he could barely think. Apart of him wanted to forgive Harry and understand him but he felt so alone. Harry kept him in the dark about this whole situation, something he felt a best friend shouldn't do. Every year that has gone by Harry and Ron had grown a part. Ron didn't want to admit it but it felt like they were total strangers and Harry only made him feel they were more distant then they had ever been. Ron had always been there for Harry, he was number one in Harry's life and now he feared that was lost. And the fact that Draco Malfoy may be taking his place made him sick.

Harry looked on when he heard someone knocking at his door. He wiped his eyes and straightened his shirt before walking to the door. He took a deep breath and opened the door to find Hermione.

"Hermione?"

Hermione didn't answer she just looked at him then jumped in his arms and gave him a hug. Harry held her lightly, surprised by her action.

Hermione pulled away and looked at him.

"Harry, why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I wanted to tell you, and Ron. I really did. I just couldn't do it . . . the thought of losing you two was killing me inside."

Hermione let her hand rest on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry, we're your friends. What made you think I wouldn't understand? We love you no matter what you do. I don't want you to ever be afraid to come to me with a problem."

"Thanks, Hermione."

He hugged her, more tightly this time letting his chin rest on her shoulder. He released her and looked down.

"Ron is really mad at me, though. Isn't he?"

"Don't worry, he'll come around. I gave him a talk." Hermione smiled.

"I hope he does. I really didn't mean for things to get like this."

"I know you didn't . . . I do have one question though."

"What's that?"

"Are you and Draco 'boyfriends' now?" Hermione asked while giggling.

"Well, sort of . . . yeah, I guess you can say that."

"Well come on, what happened last night, I want details!"

"Hermione!"

"What? I've been in the dark this whole time I want to know!"

"Well would you look at the time?" Harry looked down at his watch I need to get some sleep." Harry dragged Hermione out of his room until she was standing outside the doorway.

"But-"

"Good night Hermione."

Harry smirked shutting the door behind him. He rolled his eyes and leaned against the door.

"Girls . . . no wonder I don't like them."


	12. Chapter 12

Ron entered his room finding Harry asleep. He sighed and walked over to his bed and pulled out a book from under his robe. Harry moved slightly and opened his eyes.

"R-Ron?" Harry sat up and turned on the lamp next to him.

Ron quickly hid the book back under his robe.

"What was that?"

"Nothing..."

Harry moved the covers off and leaned forward.

"Listen, Ron. I'm really sorry about what happened."

Ron rolled his eyes and took his pajamas out of his nightstand.

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"But, Ron-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!"

Ron took his pajamas and went into the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Harry threw himself back forcefully onto the bed. Ron was still pissed, and there was nothing he could say to make it better. He just wanted Ron to understand how sorry he was. There was nothing to he could do to take back what he did, it was done.

Ron sat down at the end of the bathtub and took out the book from under his robe. It was a forbidden book of spells. Ron's hand shook as he opened to the first page. He gazed down the table of contents and found the word 'Love' on page 226. He flipped through the pages until he got to 226. 'Love spells' was written at the top in bold letters. He flipped a few pages until he got to 'Reversing Love."

* * *

Harry woke up to the sound of someone whispering his name. The voice sounded distant as though he was in a dream. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at the person above him.

"Draco?" Harry sat up quickly.

"Shhhhh" Draco motioned to Ron who was sleeping soundly in his bed.

"What are you doing here? You promised you weren't going to do this again." Harry whispered.

"I know, but I had to see you. I don't need my oxygen anymore so the nurse said I could go. I just have to go for weekly check ups."

"Oh."

Draco smirked and took Harry's hand.

"Come with me." Draco pulled Harry out of bed and walked swiftly out the door making sure not to wake Ron.

"Draco, it's in the middle of the night, where are we going?"

Draco dragged Harry outside the main doors.

"You'll see." Draco smirked.

Draco took Harry a hidden field right outside the castle. He looked up at the sky; the stars were so bright and beautiful.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Draco said releasing Harry's hand.

"Y-yeah . . ." Harry was shivering; he had forgotten to grab his robe on the way out.

Draco noticed Harry shivering and wrapped his robe around Harry's shoulders.

"Thanks." Harry smiled.

Draco crouched down and took Harry along with him. Draco wrapped his arm around Harry pulling him closer to his chest.

"You know, I used to come here every night when I couldn't sleep." Draco said still gazing up at the stars.

"Really? What did you do?"

"What we're doing now. I would usually come here when I had a lot of things on my mind. I had been coming here a lot lately before the . . . incident." Draco swallowed and glanced down at Harry.

Harry looked up at him and locked his gaze. Draco looked so peaceful beneath the moonlight, his pale skin glowing, and his eyes were sparkling. Harry pushed himself up and kissed Draco lightly at first until Draco leaned closer to him turning it passionate. Harry let Draco push him to the ground leaning on top of him. Draco moved his hands along Harry's chest making swirling motions with his fingers. Draco moved from Harry's lips to his neck, biting gently and sucking. Harry sat up slightly and wrapped his arms around Draco's rib cage and pulled at his shirt. Draco got the message and pulled away from Harry's neck letting his arms go up in the air as Harry pulled off his shirt. Draco moved forward and kissed Harry passionately as he started to unbutton his shirt. Once his shirt was opened Draco moved his kisses down to Harry's chest. Harry was tugging at the waist of Draco's pants.

"A little anxious, aren't we Potter?" Draco pulled away and smirked.

"You forget something very important, Malfoy. I'm a Potter, and I always get what I want. And what I want is you." Harry smirked as he mocked Draco's exact words.

Harry moved himself over Draco and pushed him to the ground kissing his bare chest while he unbuttoned Draco's paints and pulled down the zipper. Draco moaned as he felt his erection rub against Harry's thigh. Harry smirked and let Draco sit up and kiss him while he undid his pants pulling them down to his knees. Draco pushed Harry down on the ground and kissed him passionately. Both erections rubbed together causing Harry to moan.

Draco pulled away from Harry's lips gasping for air.

"I- I need you, now."

"You have me." Harry said as he pulled down Draco's boxers.

"A-Are you sure about this . . ?" Draco asked

Harry didn't respond he just gave a nod in approval. With that Draco moved his hands a long Harry's boxers and pulled them down while he turned Harry on his back. Draco positioned himself over Harry and leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"This may hurt a little."

"Just do it." Harry said sounding eager.

Draco moved Harry's hips towards him and entered. Harry tensed a little but let himself relax as Draco moved slowly in. Draco moved gradually making sure he didn't hurt Harry too much, but he wanted to move faster. He stopped himself from doing so until Harry said it was okay. Harry gripped his hands into fists and moaned loudly trying to give Draco the signal to go faster.

"D-Draco . . . please."

That was all Draco needed. He went faster loving the sounds Harry was making.

"D-Draco!" Harry screamed as Draco hit his prostate causing extreme pleasure to fill his body.

Draco closed his eyes letting the sensation move throughout his body. He wanted to keep going but he knew his body wouldn't let him go much longer.

"Harry!" Draco screamed just before releasing.

Harry screamed one last time and let himself collapse on the ground. Draco was lying next to him, both breathing heavily.

"Harry . . . I-I'm sorry if I hurt you." Draco rubbed Harry's face gently.

"I'm okay, don't worry." Harry smiled.

Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry's forehead.

"Harry . . . will you say it again?"

"What?"

"That you love me."

Harry looked at him for a moment and realized that he must have heard him before when he told Draco he loved him.

"I love you." Draco smiled as Harry leaned in to press his lips gently to his.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry woke up to the sound of his alarm. He shot up and turned off the alarm rather stunned he was back in his room.

"Was it all a dream?" he thought.

Harry shook his head mentally.

"No . . . it couldn't have been a dream." He thought.

He looked down and realized he wasn't wearing any shirt then looked down further relived he was wearing his pants. How had he gotten to his room last night? He didn't remember anything after telling Draco that he loved him. Maybe he passed out, he hoped he didn't that would be terribly embarrassing but sure enough it was probably true. Harry moved himself over to see a note resting on the pillow next to him. He went to turn himself over and realized there was a terrible pain in his butt. That was proof that he hadn't been dreaming. Harry reached over and grabbed the note while putting on his glasses which were resting on his nightstand.

_Harry,_

_Don't worry last night wasn't a dream; you fell asleep so I carried you in. I have to say, last night was amazing . . . I'm going to be in classes today so I'll see you during Snape's class. I heard we have an exam, did you study? I love you, see you soon._

_Draco_

Harry shuffled his feet out of the covers and leaned over the side of his bed. To his surprise Ron was already awake walking out of the bathroom.

"Where were you last night?" Ron asked.

"What are you talking about?" Harry said trying to hide his blush.

"You know bloody well what. I woke up first, at midnight and you weren't here then a second time at three and you weren't here."

"I was hear, Ron you were probably just dreaming."

"Harry! Stop lying to me and tell me the truth!"

Harry turned himself around and dug around for clothes in his nightstand.

"You were with him; weren't you?"

Harry rolled his eyes mentally and turned back around to face Ron.

"That is not your concern." Harry stood up making his way to the bathroom

"I think it is my concern when your best friend is loosing his virginity to Draco Malfoy!"

Harry closed his eyes tightly before turning around.

"H-How did you know?"

"Oh, come on, Harry. It's written all over your face. You may in fact believe now that as your best friend I do know you after all."

Harry frowned while he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Harry threw his clothes down on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. Then he noticed a brown leather book in the reflection of the mirror. Harry turned around and picked up the book that was resting on the bathtub and opened it to where the page was marked. His heart stopped when he saw the words in bold print "Reversing love" Then there were a list of spells beneath them. Ron had one of the spells circled. Harry looked at the spell and realized Ron was intending on using it towards him or Draco. Before Harry could even think he opened the door and tossed the book out on the floor. Ron's eyes wandered to the floor and stared at the book. He had forgotten to take it out of the bathroom. Harry stepped out of the bathroom and glared at Ron in disbelief.

"Ron, why must you keep torturing me . . .? I apologized many times before but that doesn't seem to be enough for you, does it? What is it you want, Ron? To admit I was wrong? I've done everything for you over the years! What more do you want, Ron? What do you want from me?!"

"I want my best friend back! That's what I want! I want things to be like they used to be! No more of this infatuation with Malfoy. Just end it, Harry! He's not right for you!"

"It's not an infatuation! I LOVE him!" Harry took a step back before his brain could comprehend what he had just said.

Ron starred at Harry in horror. There was no possible way he could love Malfoy. There was just no way.

"You know, Ron I used to look up to you . . ." Harry looked down at the book on the floor. "But now, I can't look at you at all."

Harry glanced once more at Ron and turned around to walk back into the bathroom.

Ron stood in the silence; his heart was pounding so fast it was all he could hear.

Harry punched the bathroom wall in pure anger and frustration. He sat down at the edge of the toilet seat with his hands buried in his face.

"How could Ron do this to me?" Harry thought.

He took a deep breath and stood up again grabbing his clothes and putting them on. He had a choice to make; His friendship with Ron or his love for Draco. Even though in his mind he had already chosen.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry didn't bother to fix himself up before leaving his room. He was about to make the most drastic decision of his life, he didn't care about how he looked at the moment. He walked down the main halls until he got to Snape's class. He was a few minutes late as always. Blaise and Draco were sitting at the first table to the far right. Hermione was sitting at the middle table with an empty seat for Harry. Ron was missing from his seat in the far left.

"Mr. Potter." Snape called across the room.

All the students wondering eyes fell on Harry.

"You're late."

"I-I'm sorry Professor, It won't happen again." Harry's knees were shaking.

"Take your seat Mr. Potter."

Harry walked over to his seat and sat down feeling sweat form on his forehead.

"Rough night, Potter?" Blaise laughed. Draco hit Blaise in the shoulder and told him to shut up.

Hermione leaned in closer to Harry.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." Harry took out his book and placed it on his desk. He looked to his right and made complete eye contact with Draco. Draco smiled and said "I love you" silently, as Harry saw clearly while reading his lips. The sight made Harry go completely weak. He could feel the pain rushing through his veins like poison spreading throughout his bloodstream. He couldn't do this, he didn't have the strength. Harry looked away immediately when Snape handed him his test. Harry looked at the test a realized he didn't know a single answer. Harry stood up and brought his test up to the front of the room.

"I'm sorry Professor; I can't concentrate on this right now." Harry handed Snape back the test and turned to walk out of the room. Everyone stared at him while he walked past each of the desks.

"Mr. Potter! You walk out of here now and I'm failing you!" Snape called out. Harry just ignored him and continued on his way. Draco shot up from his desk and ran after Harry before Snape could protest.

"Harry!" Draco caught up to Harry half way down the hall.

"Draco, go back! If you don't he'll fail you."

"I don't care. You're more important to me than a test."

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry pulling him close. Harry needed to pull away but he couldn't. Once he was in Draco's arms he felt secure; like nothing in the world could tear them apart.

"Please tell me what's wrong." Draco smelled Harry's hair and closed his eyes. His scent was intoxicating.

Harry pulled away when he realized he was only making the situation worse. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do and he was only making the situation linger on in the depths.

"Stop it!" Harry took a step back from Draco.

"What?" Draco also took a step back.

"Just stop it . . . your not making this easy." Harry turned his face away. He had to get a hold of himself, it was his only chance.

Draco stood there for a moment; he didn't know what Harry was trying to say or why he was acting so strange.

"This can't work, Draco. We can't be together, it's just wrong." As each word slipped out Harry felt a terrible pain in his chest pulsing through his heart.

"Why are you saying this?! How can it be wrong if we love each other?"

Draco tightened his hands around Harry's wrists so he couldn't run away.

Harry looked at him staring straight in his eyes and poured out what was left of his remaining heart.

"I don't love you." Harry made his voice stern yet it sounded like a whisper.

Draco's eyes were becoming watery but his once compassionate expression was now turned to fury.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Draco tightened his grip around Harry's wrists.

Harry pulled away with much difficulty and turned his back to Draco.

"This was a mistake, Draco. You know it and I know it. It's an impossible . . . I'm sorry." Harry closed his eyes, trying to block out the thrashing sound of his heart beating out of his chest.

"I don't understand . . ." Draco was almost on his knees.

Harry turned around and faced Draco. He couldn't bear to look at him, he had become deathly pale and his silent tears were streaming down his face.

"Neither do I, Now just go!"

Draco pulled himself back up with as much strength as he could offer.

"No! Not until you tell me the truth!"

"You want the truth?! Is that what you want? Well here it is; Ron is my best friend, he's been there for me since day one. But where were you, Draco huh? Where were you when I was alone . . . and I needed someone? Where were you when Sirius died and the whole school turned on me? WHERE WERE YOU?!"

Draco couldn't speak; his tears were overwhelming and choked up each word he was trying to say. He stood up forcefully and threw Harry against the wall, he wanted to kiss him and punch him at the same time.

"How could you do this to me?!" Draco pushed Harry harder against the wall. The screams were heard by Dumbledore and Snape.

"Mr. Malfoy! Release him at once!" Dumbledore pulled Draco back and Snape held him still. Draco could barely stand he was falling all over himself crying uncontrollably. Harry stared at him in horror as he watched his love fall to peices right before his eyes. Harry became terribly dizzy and the last thing he heard was Draco call his name before the blackness crept over.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry raced down a dark path, which seemed to get darker with every step he took. There was a constant cry in the distance turning to into a screeching chant. The sound vibrated through the air, making the ground shiver. Harry didn't know where he was running to but his legs carried him through the darkness. Finally there was a small light up ahead. Harry ran faster and faster until he made it to the light, and once a dark room soon became white. Harry squinted his eyes and looked into the path before him. Then he saw Draco, standing before him. His skin was glowing so beautifully, Harry thought he was in heaven. Draco approached Harry with the innocent eyes and kissed his forehead ever so gently. Harry closed his eyes for the briefest of moments until he opened them and saw nothing more of this wonderful place. The darkness had still remained and it was terribly cold. Harry suddenly felt the ground beneath him start to pull apart until there was nothing left to hold him up. He fell through the air which seemed like forever . . .

* * *

"Harry!"

Harry opened his eyes and saw Hermione standing over him, with concerned eyes.

"Harry!"

Harry became alert and looked at Hermione. He couldn't bring himself to talk; his throat had a terrible pain, like it had been burned.

"Her-Hermione?"

Hermione leaned forward and held her hand on Harry's forehead.

"Harry, thank goodness."

Harry leaned up, his head becoming severely dizzy.

"How long was I out?"

Hermione looked at the clock hanging on the wall of the hospital.

"About an hour."

"That long?"

Hermione nodded.

"Harry . . . what happened?"

Harry sighed, his chest feeling as though it was about to collapse.

"I – I had to do it, Hermione." Harry's voice was so low, Hermione could scarcely here him.

"Do what, Harry?"

Harry only needed to be asked once, before he could feel a sudden wave of guilt. Hermione could tell by the look on his face, he had done something terrible.

"This is about Draco, isn't it?"

Harry shivered just by the sound of his name. This affect Draco had on him was incurable.

"Hermione . . . I think I've made a terrible mistake."

* * *

Draco was slouched over in his chair with his head lying on Dumbledore's desk.

Dumbledore sat on the opposite side of the desk and stared at lifeless Draco.

"Draco, listen to me." Dumbledore leaned forward and lifted Draco's head off the desk.

"I know your upset about Harry but there's something you should know."

Draco lifted himself up from the desk and sat back in the chair.

"It's news of your father."

Draco opened his eyes a little more.

"What about him?"

Dumbledore leaned forward and stared at Draco.

"I'm sorry, Draco. Your father is dead."

Draco sat there speechless; there was no thought, no emotion that came to mind. He just sat there completely steady.

Dumbledore studied his expression, he didn't know whether Draco was going to cry hysterically or become violently raged.

Draco could not cry anymore, his thoughts were revolved around Harry and now his Father who left the world ashamed of him was dead. Draco couldn't help but feel guilty and completely worthless. If he hadn't driven his Father away he would still be alive . . . it was totally his fault.

Draco stood up and slammed his fist on the table, although he felt completely helpless he didn't cry. His eyes felt dried out and swollen.

"How did this happen?!"

Dumbledore had never compassion like this for anyone else besides Harry. But this boy was torn apart. He lost the love of his life and now his Father.

"He was killed in action."

The redness in Draco's eyes was becoming more visible by the minute. Without thinking a moment longer he turned around and raced out of Dumbledore's office.

"You can not blame yourself for this Draco!" Dumbledore yelled right before Draco ran out the door.

Draco's breathing was becoming more and more heavy. At any moment he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Something had to be done, but what? He kept on walking which seemed like a long time.

"Draco!" Blaise came up behind him trying to get his attention.

"Go away, Blaise!" Draco yelled.

"Wait, what's going on?" Blaise caught up with him trying to slow him down.

Draco walked past the library and stopped when he saw red hair through the window. Draco pushed open the doors, and walked quickly over to Ron. Ron saw him approaching and braised himself just before Draco grabbed him by his shirt.

"Draco stop!" Blaise was trying to pull Draco off Ron but he wouldn't budge. He pulled Ron by his collar into the back of the library and threw him up against a wall. Draco wanted so bad to beat him up, just to see the smallest amount of blood pour from Ron's nose. As he brought his fist up, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Draco, please. Don't do it." Blaise tried to calm Draco down.

Ron didn't know what to say, he knew that Draco only had one reason to beat him up and it was Harry.

"Draco, just calm down. It's not worth getting in trouble for." Blaise moved in closer to Draco.

Draco loosened his grip on Ron and slowly put him down.

"This is all your fault." Draco looked at Ron once more before he let Blaise direct him out of the library.

* * *

After Harry was out of the hospital there was nothing he could do but think. He layed on his bed as he tried to stop the millions of questions that ran through his mind. The radio next to his bed was on, and it was a muggle station, he would only listen to when he was depressed. This situation called for it.

_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done_

_And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here_

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_

_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_

_To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do_

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_

_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_

_Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads_

_Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess_

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_


	16. Chapter 16

"Draco, this isn't healthy, you're not eating, and you won't sleep. I don't know what to do."

Blaise stood next to Draco's bed as Draco layed there lifeless.

"Just go." Draco whispered.

Blaise sat down on the bed and sighed deeply.

"Draco, Harry didn't mean what he said, I know it. Why are you giving up so easily?

Draco closed his eyes tightly.

"Go away, Blaise. Leave me alone."

"Draco, I can't go anywhere, it pains me to see you this way."

"I said GO AWAY!"

Blaise got up slowly from the bed and took a few steps to the door.

"Draco, I've sworn to protect you. It's my duty as a friend and I will protect you, even if it means I have to protect you from yourself."

After Blaise left Draco realized he felt more alone than he had ever felt. Draco leaned over and turned on the radio very softly to the muggle station. He had a feeling like he was lost; somewhere no one knew about or even thinks to look for him. Somewhere in the bottomless depth he knew Harry still loved him but he couldn't stop hearing Harry's voice in his head telling him that he didn't love him. Those words are enough to kill someone, slowly eating away their insides until they feel empty. Draco curled himself up and listened to the soft sound coming from the radio . . .

_Millionaire say  
Got a big shot deal  
And thrown it all away but  
But I'm not too sure  
How I'm supposed to feel  
Or what I'm supposed to say  
But I'm not, not sure,  
Not too sure how it feels  
To handle every day  
And I miss you love_

_Make room for the prey  
'Cause I'm coming in  
With what I wanna say but  
It's gonna hurt  
And I love the pain  
A breeding ground for hate but..._

_I'm not, not sure,  
Not too sure how it feels  
To handle everyday  
Like the one that just past  
In the crowds of all the people_

_Remember today  
I've no respect for you  
And I miss you love  
And I miss you lo-_

Draco sat up and pulled his Radio out of the wall and threw it across the room. Draco could no longer contain himself. A fire had been building up inside, first starting out as a flame then soon grew. He stood up and walked over to his mirror and smashed his fist into the glass causing it to shatter all over the floor. Small cuts along Draco's knuckles bled as each drop moved down his hand and onto the floor. Draco felt a few tears start to stream down his face; he lost all feeling in his legs and crouched down on the floor. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed almost silently.

* * *

Harry sat on his bed, is dismay. He could no longer take the muggle station; every song in some way reminded him of Draco. If he heard one more backstreet boys song he was going to go insane. The silence was much better, and far more soothing. Harry hadn't seen Ron since yesterday and he wasn't in Snape's class. Some part of him wanted to forgive him but the other part wasn't ready, that part also told him that this whole situation was Ron's fault. He shook his head mentally trying to block out the other voice in his head. He was about to lay down when Ron entered the room. Harry quickly wiped his eyes from the previous tears and put on his glasses.

"Hi." Ron spoke timidly.

"Hi." Harry's voice was low, and calm.

There was an awkward silence that passed between them at that moment. Neither of them knew what to say or what the other was thinking.

"Harry, I'm sorry!" Ron blurted out to get the conversation going somehow.

Harry looked at him; he didn't know what to say to that. Was he supposed to say "Yeah, it's okay Ron." Because it wasn't okay, he just told the love of his life that he didn't love him and all for Ron.

"I just told the person I love that I didn't love them and pretty much that he means nothing to me and you're coming here to say that you're sorry?"

"You did what? Why did you do that, Harry?"

"_No wonder why Draco nearly attacked me." Ron thought._

"I did it for you, Ron . . . "

"Harry . . . I"

Harry held his hand up.

"It doesn't matter anymore. You and I both know it's wrong."

"How can it be wrong if you love each other!?"

Harry stopped, and replayed what Ron had just said. Draco spoke those exact words to him.

"Harry, I made a mistake! I was so afraid I would loose you! And I didn't want you to get hurt! What do you expect when I find out you and Malfoy are dating?" Ron's eyes were watery, Ron hated to cry in front of Harry but he had to show him he was sincere.

"Ron, we've both made mistakes and we're going to have to forgive each other because if we don't then we really will loose each other. Everything we ever had will be lost."

Harry got up and hugged Ron loosely at first, and then Ron hugged him back tightly.

"I'm sorry, Harry. Please forgive me."

"I'm sorry too, Ron."

Harry let go and sat back down on the bed.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?"

Ron sat down next to Harry.

"There's nothing I can do, Ron. I'm afraid that I can't fix this."

"Yes you can! You have to tell him the truth."

"I can't do that, Ron."

"Why?"

"Because I can't face him . . . For the first time I am giving up. It's better this way. I just don't want to risk hurting him anymore."

Ron and Harry sat in silence, feeling each others presence just a bit more comforting. Harry knew what he was throwing away and it made him sick to his stomach. Even though he hurt Draco, he couldn't bare to hurt him anymore. Harry wasn't worried about Draco surviving this because he would make sure he did. He was worried about himself.


	17. Chapter 17

Blaise stared down at the spell in front of him; Amnesia Spell. There were different spells for days, months, and years. Blaise wanted Draco to forget the past month, he had to, and it was his only hope of getting his friend back to normal. Blaise boiled a pot of tea and chanted the spell over Draco's tea cup.

Draco sat on his bed starring at the clock. He had only one hour until his Father's funeral and the thought of seeing his Father dead was making him sick. His Father hated him so he felt even worse, but he knew he had to go. He owed his Father at least that much.

Blaise sat next to Draco's bed and handed him the tea.

"No thanks."

"Come on, you haven't eaten anything all morning. You need something."

Draco took the tea and took a small sip. Blaise looked rather nervous, but he knew that nothing would happen yet. The spell activated in 24 hours.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

Draco took another sip of his tea.

"No, I'll be fine. This is something I have to do on my own."

"Draco, whatever you may think, your Father loved you."

"Your right, he did once." Draco took another sip and leaned back his head against his pillow.

* * *

Draco's black suit was lying out on his bed. He stood there for a moment and stared at the dark fabric. Something about the color black seemed to comforting to him at the moment. He picked up the suit and put it on; it wasn't as comfortable as it looked. Draco stood in front of his mirror and looked himself down then there was a small knock at his door.

"Come in." Draco called out.

Someone opened the door slowly. Draco had expected it to be Blaise again.

"Blaise, I already told you, I don't need you to come with me." Draco turned around and saw Ron standing at his doorway.

"Oh it's you." Draco turned back to the mirror and straitened his tie. "What do you want?"

Ron stood there for a moment, and stared at Draco. He had practiced what he was going to say but now all of a sudden he was chocked up, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I'm sorry."

Draco turned around slowly and stared at Ron.

"For what? Completely ruining my life, for taking away the one person who truly loved me?" Draco became angry at Ron for making him think about it again. Did he really think that he was going to accept his apology?

"He still loves you, Draco."

Draco closed his eyes and bit his lip, blocking out a painful memory.

"Shut up, Weasley"

Ron took a step forward.

"Listen, Draco I know the pain I caused you and I'm ashamed of myself for doing it but you have to understand. Please just get Harry back, he needs you and I know you need him to."

"You know the pain you've caused me? I think not. And Harry has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me anymore so I'm letting him go. I can not be selfish, Harry has made his decision and as long as he's happy then I need to find a way to be happy as well."

"But he's not happy! He's miserable. He doesn't want to let you go, don't you understand? Stop making this so hard for the both of you and just tell him how you really feel."

Draco walked over to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a funeral to go to." Draco placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it slightly.

"Funeral?"

"My Fathers." Draco turned the knob all the way and walked out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

_Far away, I feel your beating heart  
All alone, beneath the crystal stars  
Staring into space, what a lonely face  
I'll try to find my place with you  
_

_What a Beautiful smile__  
Can I stay for a while  
On this beautiful night  
We'll make everything right  
My beautiful love_

_Larger then the moon, my love for you  
Worlds collide, as heaven pulls us through  
The secret of the world is written in the stars  
I'm carrying your heart in mine_

_What a Beautiful smile  
Can I stay for a while  
On this beautiful night  
We'll make everything right  
My beautiful love_

Ron stormed into Harry's room and turned off the radio.

"I think that's enough of the muggle station for you."

Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"I have some news." Ron sat down next to Harry.

"What is it?"

"It's about Draco."

Harry felt his steady heart suddenly jolt and start to pound.

"Is he alright?!"

Ron gripped Harry's shoulders to calm him down.

"He's okay."

The muscle in Harry's shoulder's relaxed.

"What is it then?"

"Draco's Father, is dead."

Harry's eyes became wide, and filled with fear.

"What?"

"I went to talk to him and – "

"You talked to him?! I told you to stay out of it!"

"Harry, I'm just trying to fix what I broke. I know you still love him –"

"It doesn't matter how I feel, there's nothing that can fix this."

"But he still loves you! This is stupid, Harry!"

Harry sighed and calmed himself down before speaking again.

"This was over before it began, Ron. Some part of me knew from the beginning that it was going to be lost in the end."

"But it doesn't need to be this way. Harry, I can never forgive myself for doing this to you if it ends this way . . . I will NEVER forgive myself, and I know that every time I look at you I will see that pain in your eyes, and I'll know that I've caused it. Please, don't do this, tell him the truth."


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning Harry awoke to the sun beaming in through the curtains. Ron, to his surprise was already awake.

"Harry, get up." Ron said pulling the covers away from Harry's face.

"What? Why?"

"You know bloody well why."

"I changed my mind; I don't want to do this." Harry turned on his side.

"Oh no you don't!" Ron pulled the covers completely off Harry.

Harry curled himself up and tightened his eyes shut.

"Come on, Harry."

"Alright, alright." Harry opened his eyes and sat himself up with much difficulty. This was it; the time had come to talk to Draco.

* * *

Draco was lying on the couch in his room, for some reason he couldn't remember what he did yesterday. Everything was a blur after he had spoken to Blaise in Snape's class.

"_Was that what happened yesterday?"_ Draco thought.

Draco shook his head and tried to clear his mind. Blaise entered the room carrying Draco's uniform.

"Ah, you're up. Come on we're going to be late." Blaise said throwing Draco's clothes at him.

"Uh, Blaise what happened yesterday?"

"Nothing in particular, it was a regular day why?"

"I don't know, for some reason it feels like I'm forgetting something or someone."

Blaise tried to hide his expression, Draco's love for Harry had weakened the spell, so he still had some memories but not clear.

"You're just tired, come on, we'll go get some breakfast."

Harry sat at his table with Ron and Hermione. Draco had just walked in and sat down with Blaise.

"Harry, this is your chance. Go." Ron gave Harry a little shove.

Harry got up quickly and walked over to Draco. He took a deep breath before sitting down.

"Draco, can I have a word?"

"What do you want, Potter?" Draco sneered.

"Listen, I know you're angry about what happened but I need to explain. – "

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, this isn't easy for me to say . . . Draco, I love –" Before Harry could finish his sentence Blaise grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from Draco.

"Blaise, what are you doing?"

Blaise released his arm.

"Listen, Potter. Stay away from him." Blaise gave Harry a shove to warn him to stay back.

"Blaise, I know you're just trying to protect him but please let me explain."

"There's no explanation needed. He doesn't remember anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I asked you to take care of my friend and you promised . . . you promised. Blaise's voice was trailing off; he had to stop himself from crying. "You can both live your lives free of each other, its better this way."

Harry looked at Blaise; he could see the fear and sorrow in his eyes. Blaise must have done something to Draco, to make him forget, a spell of some sort.

"What did you do to him?"

"I don't think that's your concern. After all you don't care about him do you, Harry?"

"Blaise, I made a mistake. Please let me talk to him."

"It's too late for that, the damage is done."

Harry became filled with so many different emotions all at once. His hands started to sweat and his knees were shaking uncontrollably. Harry couldn't control himself so he did something drastic.

Harry turned away from Blaise and ran towards Draco grabbing him by his shoulders and turning him around.

"Draco, you remember, don't you?"

"Potter, what are you doing?" Draco was struggling to get free. Every one at the Slytherin table was staring.

"Draco, look at me!" Draco made eye contact with Harry, trying to fight back the trance.

"Please, remember!" Harry gripped Draco's shoulders tighter but Draco continued to fight.

"Draco, I love you! Do you hear me?! I'm saying it for everyone to here; I love you!"

Everyone in the room went quiet, and so did Draco's attacks. He stopped fighting Harry and looked at him in pure shock.

"_Did Harry, just say he loved me?" Draco thought._

Harry looked around at the staring eyes. His body felt completely numb. He locked eyes with Draco once more before running out of the room. Ron and Hermione got up immediately and followed Harry.

That night Draco felt like crying, something he hadn't done in a long time.

"_Why did his words affect me so?" _Draco thought.

Draco was in love with Harry but he never told him, and what was he supposed to remember? Draco squinted his eyes trying to remember anything that happened; then he noticed his black suit lying on his bed. There was a white paper sticking half way out of the jacket pocket. Draco got up and walked over to the suit taking out the folded paper. It was a deed to his Father's Mansion that was now put under his name. Draco skimmed over the paper and noticed his Father's signature at the bottom of the paper along with the date his father was born and the date he died . . .


	19. Chapter 19

Draco stared down at the paper before him, his hand started to shake. He sat down on his bed and let his grip on the paper release and watched it fall to the floor. Everything felt so strange; he didn't know what was happening.

"Father . . ." Draco whispered and fell backwards onto the bed closing his eyes.

* * *

"How could you do this to me, Draco? After everything I've done for you!"

"I didn't do this to you! Did you think I woke up one day and decided I was going to be gay and disappoint my Father?"

"You're no son of mine . . ."

" . . .What?"

"You're not cut out to be a Malfoy, I've never been more ashamed of you."

* * *

Draco felt the cool tears start to stream down his face. Soft whimpers turned into full sobs, as he recalled the actual sound of his Father's voice and that look of fury . . . and hate in his Father's eyes. Draco closed his eyes once again hoping to stop the crying when he was hit with flashes of the night he tried to kill himself. He watched himself write the note to Harry and slash his arms open. The next thing he knew he was in the hospital. Soft whispers were starting to build up inside talking all at once making his head spin in confusion.

"_He's lost too much blood!"_

"_Mr. Malfoy, can you hear us?"_

"_Mr. Malfoy, tried to commit suicide last night. We almost lost him."_

Endless words were flooding through his mind making him feel completely insane. He was hearing so many different voices until they were playing slower and clearer. He listened to the sound of his own voice and Harry's.

"_The more pain you suffered, I suffered a long with you. The only emotion I could show you was anger until I actually made myself believe I truly hated you. But that's until I realized I couldn't hate you any longer . . . I loved you, Harry and I still do . . . very much."_

"_If I love you then you'll leave me . . . you'll leave me like everyone else does. I'll hurt you and you'll hurt me! You can not get close to me . . . you just can't Draco, do you understand?! I destroy everything I touch!"_

"_You are strong, Harry. You are so much stronger than this, I've known you to get through anything and you'll be okay . . . you really will. And God forbid I should ever leave you, it would __have__ to be the death of me. I love you Potter, and there's no way I'm letting you go . . ."_

"_This was a mistake, Draco. You know it and I know it. It's an impossible . . . I'm sorry."_

"_You want the truth?! Is that what you want? Well here it is; Ron is my best friend, he's been there for me since day one. But where were you, Draco huh? Where were you when I was alone . . . and I needed someone? Where were you when Sirius died and the whole school turned on me? WHERE WERE YOU?!"_

_"How could you do this to me?!"_

"_Draco, look at me!"_

"_Please, remember!"_

"_Draco, I love you! Do you hear me?! I'm saying it for everyone to here; I love you!"_

Those last words rang in Draco's mind over and over. He sat up; his heart was beating so fast he thought it would burst.

"Harry . . ." Draco whispered. "I love you too . . ." Draco reached in front of him as though Harry was standing right in front of him.

"What . . . what happened to me?" Draco stared down at the paper on the floor. His Father was really dead . . . and he left him Malfoy Mansion. Why would he do that? Draco felt a heaviness slowly lift off his shoulders . . . his Father loved him . . . he still loved him and Harry still loved him too. He closed his eyes once more before envisioning Harry standing before him.

* * *

"Blaise did something to him!" Harry yelled.

"Harry, calm down . . . you can't keep doing this to yourself." Hermione held Harry's hand trying to comfort him.

"She's right." Ron sat next to Harry.

"I keep trying to tell myself that this is all a bad dream and that I'll wake up . . . but I can never escape this dream can I? This nightmare is constantly coming back to haunt me. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be Happy." Harry put his hand in his pocket and took out silver band and handed it to Hermione.

"Please, get rid of this. I can't look at it anymore."

Harry got up and walked out of his room.

"Harry wait!" Ron called out but Harry ignored him.

"Ron . . . look." Hermione handed the ring to Ron and on the inside of the ring revealed the initials _HP & DM forever._


	20. Chapter 20

Harry stepped outside of the Gryffindor tower, leaning against the balcony. The stars were creeping out behind the clouds, making the sky light up with a perfect symphony. This sky was far too beautiful; it reminded him of that night with Draco . . . Harry closed his eyes, letting his head drop to look down. The distance to the ground seemed much further than usual.

_I could do it . . . no one would stop me. _Harry thought.

Harry shook his head mentally, realizing that was his first thought of suicide. He moved himself closer to the edge of the balcony, becoming more frightened of his actions. He gripped the railing and let his torso hang over when he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Don't do it." The sound of his voice was smooth and comforting.

Harry turned slowly to see his love, glowing beneath the moon light. His eyes were more beautiful than he had ever seen before. Harry swallowed hard trying to find his nerve.

". . . Draco?" Harry stared at him for a moment making sure that he wasn't imagining him. Draco took a few steps towards Harry and stared at him throughout. Draco stood in front of him timidly like he was untouchable. A long silence passed between them, as though they were talking to each other through their eyes. Draco cleared his throat and glanced at Harry once more. Harry was about to say something but Draco grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forcefully into a firm embrace. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's stomach and pulled him closer. Harry started to cry, he thought that maybe this was a dream and he was going to wake up any minute, but Draco's warmth was so familiar. Draco couldn't let go of Harry, if he did, he was afraid he would vanish so he held on tighter. Harry felt out of breath so he forced Draco to let go.

"Draco . . . I'm so sorry, I love you, I love you so much!" Harry spoke between cries.

Draco cupped Harry's face between his hands and wiped away his tears.

"Shhhh . . . I know . . ." Draco brushed his lips over Harry's jaw and then pressed his lips to Harry's. Dark clouds started to form over the stars covering the sky with a black blanket of clouds. One rain drop fell on Draco's nose. Draco broke the kiss and looked up at the sky just as it started to pour. Draco grabbed Harry's hand to bring him back into the tower but Harry pulled him back into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and pulled him closer. Harry's entire being was put into that kiss; if it wasn't raining so hard Harry knew there would be fireworks. Draco had never felt such a wave of passion flow over his body, he's kissed Harry many times but this time it felt like the first and the thrill felt so good it was unexplainable. Draco fell out of breath and released Harry but still kept him close. The rain started to settle down as each minute passed until it was only drizzling.

Draco gently kissed Harry's forehead and smiled lightly.

"Harry," Draco took Harry's hands in his. "Please, never do anything like that again."

It took Harry a minute to realize Draco was talking about Harry jumping off the balcony.

"I thought I'd lost you . . ." Harry's voice was still dull from crying.

Draco tightened his grip on Harry's hands.

"Don't ever give up your life for me . . ." Draco started to cry as well.

Harry pulled himself closer to Draco and made complete eye contact.

"That's impossible Draco . . . you have my life," Harry brought Draco's hand up to his chest so Draco could feel his heart. "You can have my heart, it's always been yours."

"Harry . . ." Draco reached into his pocket. "There's something I want you to have."

Draco got down on one knee and took Harry's left hand. Harry's eyes became wide, and his heart started to beat fast.

"Harry, I could say how much I love you, I could sit here for hours trying to explain in words how I feel about you, but I don't think those meaningless words will ever be enough. Because what I feel for you is constant and true and I'm sure . . . I am sure that no matter what happens, that feeling will never go away because you're everything to me." Draco took the ring out of his hand and placed it over Harry's ring finger.

"Marry me?" Harry smiled at Draco, his eyes gathered up a few remaining tears before he slipped the ring onto his finger. Harry gazed at the shining silver and saw "I love you" engraved along the outside of the ring. Draco stood up still holding Harry's hand.

"Is that a yes?" Draco smirked. Harry nodded in approval and kissed Draco gently on the lips.

"Harry!" Ron's voice interrupted their moment. Ron came to a halt stop right before the balcony. "Oh." Ron looked at Harry then down at the ring on Harry's finger.

"Sorry uh . . . here." Ron gave Harry his ring for Draco. "Thought you might need this." Ron smiled and Harry smiled back. Ron didn't stay, he knew what was going on and for some reason he didn't have that ghastly feeling, he was happy for Harry, for both of them.

"Well, here." Harry handed Draco the ring.

"What's this?" Draco looked at the engraving and smiled.

"You beat me to it." Harry smiled and slipped the ring on Draco's ring finger.

Draco admired the ring on his finger and pulled Harry close to his chest. Their bodies felt as one, both breathing in and out at the same time, feeling comfort with every movement. Draco closed his eyes breathing in Harry's scent.

"Let's just stay like this forever" Draco spoke softly fulfilling Harry's full embrace.

* * *

Aw, how romantic . . . Don't worry it's not the end. That was the end of part one. The second part will begin as soon as I gather some more ideas and organize them. If anyone has any suggestions whatsoever please let me know, it would be a big help.

**Soooooooooo sorry about the story getting deleted. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing so it's my fault. I'm still so freakin' pissed, now all of my reviews are gone. : ( Please review more! As much as you can! Sorry again, and thanks for your understanding.  
**

**-Manda**


	21. Chapter 21 PART II

Harry awoke in his bed with Draco's arm wrapped around him. Harry lifted his arm up gently, making sure not to wake him. He made a small groan and turned on his side. Harry sat at the end of his bed and put on his glasses. Something didn't feel right, he didn't know what but something just wasn't right . . . He stared over at Ron's bed which was empty; he had spent the night in Neville's room to give Draco and him more privacy. Harry glanced around the room and felt a cold breeze coming in through the window, he shivered and got up and walked over to the window. He stared for a moment then closed it, the air just smelled strange. He turned around when he heard Draco yawn loudly.

"Harry . . .?" Draco said coming out of a sound sleep. He sat up and looked at Harry standing near the window.

"Harry, are you alright?"

"Something's wrong . . ." Harry shivered once again.

"What do you mean?" Draco moved himself to the edge of the bed and let his legs hang off.

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling, like something is going to happen."

Draco stood up and walked over to Harry placing his arms around his shoulders.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Draco whispered, sending a cold shiver down Harry's spine.

"No, I just have a bad feeling . . ."

"Maybe I can help." Draco moved his hands around Harry's waist and pulled him closer and kissed his neck softly. Harry's shoulders tensed up at the sensation running through his body.

"Draco . . ." Harry pulled away a little. "Not right now."

Draco sighed and released him.

"Ugh . . . see what you do to me?" Draco smirked.

Suddenly a green light flashed through the window.

"What the hell was that?" Draco looked out the window.

"I don't know . . ."

KNOCK, KNOCK

Harry and Draco turn their attention to the door. Draco looked at the clock and saw it said 2:00 AM.

"Who would be here at 2 in the morning?" Draco looked at Harry.

Harry walked over to the door, timidly holding out his hand to reach the doorknob.

"Wait," Draco grabbed Harry's shoulder. "Who's there?!" Draco yelled before Harry could open the door.

"It's Professor Snape, open up!" Draco and Harry let out a sigh in relief. Harry opened the door and saw Snape, looking more agitated than usual.

"Come with me at once, the both of you." Snape grabbed both of their shoulders forcing them out of the room.

"What's going on Professor?" Draco asked.

"There's no time to explain, the Headmaster needs to see you at once."

Snape opened the Headmaster's door and let Draco and Harry enter first.

Dumbledore had been pacing back and forth near his desk, looking completely exhausted. His attention was brought to Harry and Draco entering the room with Snape following behind.

"Malfoy, Potter" Dumbledore glanced at each of the boys. "Sit, please."

Harry and Draco sat down both trying to think about what could have happened or what they did wrong.

"Look, Professor if this is about Draco being in my room . . . he just fell asleep and-"

"No, that's not what this is about." Dumbledore interrupted.

"Then what's going on?" Draco asked slightly annoyed.

"Malfoy, this is about your safety so I need you to listen carefully; since your Father died, the death eaters have been trying to track you down . . . to kill you. They blame your Father's death on you and wish to take out their revenge on you."

Draco and Harry's eyes became wide with fear. Harry looked at Draco who was speechless and trembling. Harry reached over and took Draco's hand in his.

"There is more . . ." Dumbledore looked down at their joined hands. "We're going to have to send you away, Mr. Malfoy; it is no longer safe for you here."

Harry gripped Draco's hand tighter.

"What . . .?" Draco looked at Harry and then back at Dumbledore. "But I can't, Professor Harry and I-"

"I know Mr. Malfoy, but it's the only way . . . we'll get you back here as soon as we can. Our army is on the move now to fight them off, but it's going to take time."

Draco stood up forcefully.

"No! I'm not going anywhere; I will NOT be a coward and run away!"

"Draco, I am responsible if something happens to you, when a student is in danger I have to do everything in my power to protect that student." Dumbledore stood up. "And by God, I mean to do it!"

Harry stood up and put his hand on Draco's shoulder.

"You have to go, Draco."

Draco made eye contact with him.

"No . . . I can't, I finally got you back, and I'm not going to lose you again!"

"You won't lose me!" Harry cupped Draco's face between his cool hands and locked his eyes to his. "I can not bear to see you get hurt . . . you need to go and when you come back I'll be right here waiting for you, I promise." Harry gave him an assured look and released him.

Draco nodded, trying to return a smile.

"Where am I going?" Draco turned to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked at Snape then back at Draco.

"Since your Father left you his Mansion, Professor Snape and I have decided that you will be living there temporarily."

"Alone?" Harry looked at Dumbledore and Snape.

"No, Mr. Potter, I will be with Draco, making sure he is not harmed." Snape answered. "After all, I am his God Father."

* * *

Well, that felt better to write a new chapter. I only got 5 reviews and one of them was kind of bad so I'm sad . . . I went from 65 to five . . . that sucks. Anyways, thanks once again for your patience when I was getting the story reposted. I still can't believe I did that! (such a bloody idiot!) lol. Please review.

-Manda


	22. Chapter 22

Harry and Draco were led to the docks by Snape and Dumbledore. Both Professors were extremely cautious standing on each side of the boys. Draco held Harry's hand the entire way there, occasionally tightening his grip when he felt Harry being pulled away from him.

The green light flashed in sky and the fog became thick, they were near.

"Hurry it up, boys we don't have much time." Dumbledore quickened his pace until they made it to the docks.

Snape pulled the boat over by the rope and started to untie it. Dumbledore looked at both Harry and Draco and sighed.

"Safe journey, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore patted his shoulder. "We'll send for you when it's safe." He assured him. Dumbledore gave a small smile and nodded before walking back towards the castle.

Draco turned to Harry still holding his hand, brought it up to his mouth and kissed it gently.

"I'll miss you . . ." Draco said softly.

"Me too . . ." Harry didn't know why but he felt like crying, he knew that Draco was going to come back but for some reason it felt like they were saying their final goodbye.

"Please be careful . . . and when it's safe I'll come back to you." Draco lifted up Harry's chin and kissed him gently.

"Goodbye, love." Draco whispered in Harry's ear. Draco kept his head down and slowly pulled away from Harry. Harry felt his hand slide down his as they were parted. Harry suddenly felt tears start to form in his eyes; Draco noticed and turned back to Harry.

"Harry . . . I'll be okay. Please don't cry." Draco said as he wiped away his tears.

"I'm sorry . . . "Harry said holding on tightly to Draco. Draco didn't want to cry, it would only make things worse. He stopped himself from holding on much longer then he pulled away.

"Draco . . . come on we have to hurry." Snape called over from the boat. His voice was cracking, for some reason he felt compassion for the two boys.

Draco walked over to the boat and glanced over his shoulder once more before getting into the boat. Harry watched him as he the boat disappeared through the dark waters. Harry felt more and more cold the longer he stood there. He had a feeling that time was passing, a lot of time, though it was only seconds. That meant this separation wasn't going to be easy if it already felt like this. Harry put his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath in a let the air subside. With a heavy heart he stood there and watched the water claim his love, with the gentle wind of his passage. He was gone.

* * *

Draco leaned over at the end of the boat watching his reflection pass through the clear water. Snape rowed the boat, trying to keep himself occupied, but Draco looked so hopeless. For some reason he took pity on the boy, something he had never felt for anyone. 

"So, you and Potter are tying the knot?" Snape asked trying to make conversation.

Draco snapped out of his trance and glanced behind him quickly.

"Oh, yeah . . ." Draco turned his head back down to the water.

"Draco, you don't have to do this you know." Snape said lowering his voice.

Draco glanced over at Snape once more, puzzled by what he had said.

"What?"

"You don't have to be so brave all the time. You're Father –"

"Don't." Draco stared at Snape. "I'm not my Father."

Draco looked back down at the water and let his fingers trail along the surface leaving ripples as the boat pulled away to Malfoy Mansion. Draco looked up into the dark clouds and saw the towers of the mansion creep out from underneath the fog. The place was a lot smaller than he remembered, probably since he hadn't been there since he was little. Snape rowed the boat to the dock in front of the mansion and took out his suitcase along with Draco's. Once Draco was up close it seemed enormous. Draco and Snape walked up to the large doors. Both pushed up against each door causing the doors to creek open. Draco poked his head in first and felt around on the wall for the light switch. When he found it the chandelier lit up revealing the tall staircase and the wooden floors.

Draco stood there for a moment trying to figure out how a place could feel so strange and yet so familiar. Both Draco and Snape dropped their suitcases and stared around the empty room. Draco then noticed the family room towards the left. He imagined his Father laughing and playing with him. He stared at the young figure of himself . . . that part of him was long gone and there was no getting him back. His Father held Draco up in his arms and flew him around the room playing "airplane" as he called it.

Suddenly his figure grew and he was no longer a child. He was imagining the argument he had with his Father. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he knew; especially when he saw his father speak "Your no son of mine." Draco felt a single tear drop from his eyes before snapping out of it. The hallucinations were no longer there and he was standing in the same spot.

"Draco, are you alright?" Snape asked.

Draco glanced at Snape then let his eyes travel around the house once more.

"I'm hungry." Draco replied as he put his suitcase down and headed toward the kitchen.

* * *

Haha, for some reason I always think it's funny when someone says their hungry randomly or at a really serious part. I always get a kick out of it. Like in Man in the Iron mask after Louise just had sex with some girl and his reply is "I'm hungry." LOL sorry . . . I'm weird. I'll update soon. 

-Manda


	23. Chapter 23

"Harry . . ." 

Harry turned around to face Hermione; she had been waiting for him in the Great Hall.

"Hi." He replied.

"Are you alright?" Harry looked down, holding back any more tears that might fall.

"Y-yes, I'm fine."

Hermione knew he wasn't fine, she had known him far to long. She could see right through his mask and deep into his emotions and fears. She approached him, slowly and put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Harry. It's just me." She curled her fingers over his shoulder and pulled him into her embrace, but very gently. Harry let himself go, completely numb he stood there, trying to ignore the tingling sensation running through his arms. He let his chin rest on her shoulder. His heart was beating so fast, the only thing he could do was let himself cry. Hermione heard his soft whimpers and tightened the hug.

"It's okay . . . shhhh."

Harry let himself slip away from Hermione, and still kept his head pointed to the floor.

"I can't . . . help thinking that it's my fault." Harry said almost whispering.

"Don't say that." Hermione brought her hand along Harry's jaw line and brought his head upwards to meet her gaze. "You did nothing wrong . . . you can't blame yourself for this."

"But I do . . . if it weren't for me then Draco may have never gotten in a fight with his Father. Then his Father would have still been with him . . ."

"But that would not change his fate, Harry. Draco's Father chose to become a death eater, he chose to leave Draco behind . . . you didn't kill Draco's Father. He knew what he was getting himself into."

"It doesn't matter anymore . . . he's still gone."

"But he's coming back, Harry! Why are you acting as though you will never see him again?"

"Because . . . that's what always happens, Hermione. It happened with Sirius, and Cedric . . . and even my Parents. Everyone that I have ever loved was taken from me. I'm just so afraid that Draco will be taken from me too."

"You can not dictate your past, as though it will be your future, Harry. I understand, you have had horrors in your life but you can not fill everything you and Draco have with the mourning of your past."

Harry stared at her for a moment. Hermione's words always made him feel better, and even though he didn't want to admit it, she was right. Draco would be alright, he would come back safe . . . he could only hope.

* * *

Draco made his way up the long staircase; he lugged his suitcase along and stared around at his surroundings. As he walked up each stair, pictures of his past were blaring at him. Many pictures of his Father and him, even his Mother holding him when he was a baby. He glanced at each picture, not stopping to stare, the Mansion needed a good cleaning. The pictures were covered in cobwebs and the staircase railing covered in dust.

Draco made it to his old room. He opened the door slowly, with a small creek. He looked around the room and found the light switch. His bed was there, still made as though he had just slept in it. He glanced at his writing desk, there were still papers on it, and his old quill. Draco walked over to his desk and stared down at the papers. Some were poems he had written, which were mostly about Harry. Then he came across a letter he had written to Harry, in his 5th year.

_Harry,_

_You don't know it but I am not optimistic . . . I am not hopeful; I feel so many things all at once I can not explain. You're so beautiful . . . so fragile, I'm afraid that if I ever touched you, you would break into pieces. I don't deserve you, and I never will. But I want you to know, that I've become a better man, you've changed me. I no longer wear the mask I once possessed. I have no pride, no dignity; I never did until I met you. What hurts the most is knowing I love you, and watching you walk away. I do not know why I write these pointless letters, only to know that they will forever remain unsaid. But I continue to write them, everyday, hoping to find an answer to my insanity._

"Draco?" Snape said standing in Draco's doorway.

Draco put the letter down quickly and turned to face Snape.

"Yes?"

"Is this your room?" Snape said taking a step in looking around.

"It used to be."

"Everything is still here . . . that's strange. In fact, it looks as though nothing was ever touched in this room after you left." Snape said staring down at the dust along Draco's nightstand.

"Not strange really, my Father wanted to pretend I never excised, so neither did my room."

Snape glanced at the papers on Draco's desk.

"Enjoy writing?" Snape asked pointing towards the papers.

Draco stepped in front of the desk.

"I-I used to."

"Used to?"

"I no longer have a reason to write." Draco smiled warmly thinking about Harry. It was true; he hadn't written any poetry or letters to Harry since he's been with him. He would have if he could write happy poems, but they never seemed deep enough, not even love poems. Love without pain was merely an immature way of writing, or at least he thought it was.

* * *

After Hermione went off to bed, Ron joined Harry in front of the fireplace.

"Ron, there's something I want to ask you."

"Sure, what is it mate?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about the . . . wedding and I really want you to be apart of it, so would you be my best man?"

Ron's eyes widen with excitement.

"Of course, I will." Ron said grinning happily.

Harry sighed. "Good, that feels much better. I was afraid that you might not want to be in the wedding."

"Listen, mate. I've gotten over it, and I want you to be happy so whatever it takes, then I'm there for you."

"Thanks, Ron."

Suddenly Dumbledore came storming into the Great Hall, looking around fantically until he found Harry and Ron.

"Harry! Ron!"

Harry and Ron stood up immediately.

"I need you boys to go to your room and stay there understand?" Dumbledore was sweating, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"What is it Professor, what's going on?" Harry asked.

"They're here . . ."

* * *

oooo, that was cruel, but a good cliffhanger I must say. Sorry it's taken me a couple days to update. I've got a lot of things going on this week. First I had exams and projects to finish, then I had Graduation rehearsals at school, and today I had orientation for my job. I had no time, but I'll have some extra time tomorrow, probably not Saturday because I'm Graduating so I'll most likely update tomorrow. Thanks, and review!

-Manda


	24. Chapter 24

Draco stared out the window of his room, memories rushing through his head all at once gave him a headache. He missed Harry so much, it had only been 2 days but it felt like 2 years. He sat down at his desk and stared at the thick stack of blank papers. He pulled one off the top and began to write . . .

_Dear Harry,_

_It's only been 2 days, I know. But I couldn't help it, I miss you so much and the thought of not being there to protect you is driving me crazy. I hope everything is going okay over there, I haven't heard anything yet. I'm hoping that this will soon be over, so I can see you once again. It's rather strange here . . . I don't particularly like it. I don't know how my Father lived here alone for all those years, it's far too large, I've gotten lost a bunch of times and it's spooky. But that was my Father, I suppose. I keep thinking that whenever I turn the corner I'll be faced with the ghosts of my past. The only thing that gets me through the night is you. Hope all is well, and please write me._

_Love,_

_Draco_

Draco sent the letter off to Hogwarts, hoping it would reach Harry in time before morning.

"Draco!" Snape entered Draco's room, pushing the door open forcefully."

Draco turned around quickly, almost giving himself whiplash.

"What?"

"News from Dumbledore."

Snape rushed over placing a letter on Draco's desk.

_Severus,_

_The death eaters are dangerously close to the castle, the students are all in lockdowns so be sure to inform Mr. Malfoy that Harry is safe. I've gathered up the army, but nearly half are dead. I only hope, what we have left will be enough. I've come to the attention that some death eaters have taken on a new path. If there is any sight of them, you need to get Draco and yourself out of there. Be safe, and tell Draco not to worry._

_Dumbledore  
_

Draco looked up at Snape.

"Does he mean they might now where we are?"

"I'm afraid so." Draco's spine tensed up. "But no need to worry, if there is any sight of them, then we'll leave."

* * *

Harry and Ron sat up in there room. The windows were shield with platted metal. Dumbledore had put a spell on each of the rooms, to prevent the students from getting out. 

"I can't believe we're just going to sit up here and do nothing!" Harry yelled pacing back and forth. Ron's eyes moved side to side as he watched Harry stomp and curse.

"Harry, please! You're making me sick, calm yourself and sit down."

Harry let out a deep sigh and did as he was told.

Suddenly a letter was pushed under the door. Hedwig must have been roaming the castle trying to find a way to get into Harry's room since he wasn't under any circumstances getting into Harry's window.

Harry walked over and kneeled down to pick up the letter.

"Who's it from?" Ron asked.

Harry opened the letter.

"It's from Draco." Harry read the letter, his eyes tracing over each word. When he was finished he thought he might cry. He missed him too, far more than he thought he could miss him.

"What did it say?" Ron asked sounding concerned.

"Nothing." Harry said as he stood up. "Nothing you would want to read."

"Oh come on, I can take it, hand it over." Ron reached out and grabbed the letter.

Ron red each line, making faces like he had just sucked on a lemon.

Harry snatched it back from him.

"I told you not to read it."

Ron chuckled lightly to himself.

"The only thing that gets me through the night is you!" Ron mocked Draco's words in the letter as he laughed.

"Shut up!" Harry yelled trying not to laugh himself.

Ron lowered his laughter and sat on the end of his bed.

"Harry, this is going to sound weird but . . . when did you _know_?"

Harry sat down at the end of his bed and stared back at Ron.

"I'm not really sure, actually. I think I've always known it deep down but I never realized it until Draco. I think it's like when you don't understand what love is until you've met that person."

"Well ugh . . . when you guys . . . you know . . .?"

"Had sex?"

Ron cringed at the thought.

"Yeah, that. When you did _that_ how did you know it was the right time?"

"You just know, because when you truly love that person it's like nothing else matters anymore. It's like you'll give your body and soul to be with that person." Harry found himself rambling on and stopped before he got any further.

"Sorry." Harry apologized.

"It's okay; I wanted to know that's why I asked."

They were silent for a few moments, each second that passed made the silence grow more and more deep.

"I'm going to try to sleep." Ron said moving to the top of his bed.

"Alright, good night Ron."

"Wake me if anything happens." Ron said before pulling the covers over his head.

Harry grabbed his quill and a blank sheet of paper and replied back to Draco.

_Dear Draco,_

_I'm sure that you've heard by now, all of Hogwarts is locked down. Ron and I are trapped in our room and the doors are platted shut with metal so I can't even see what's going on. I feel like such a coward staying up here, I should be down there fighting with them . . . so I can fight for you. I miss you too, very much. I keep thinking that when I wake up I'll see you sleeping soundly next to me but you're never there. It's only been two days, but it feels like an eternity. How is Snape treating you? Those memories in that house is what haunts you, pretend you don't see them and walk away. I've had many encounters with illusions, but they will soon fade. I think it would be a rather nice place to live; it just needs some cleaning up. Perhaps when this is over we should move in there together, that is if you want to. Please keep yourself safe, and I will do the same. I love you._

_Love,_

_Harry_


	25. Chapter 25

Draco watched as the death eaters marched towards Hogwarts Castle. A green fog spread around the sky making it hard for the army to see clearly. Harry was at the mercy of the death eaters, lying on the ground unable to move or speak. Suddenly Snape appeared before Harry whispering something to him, Draco couldn't hear. Then Snape held Harry up by his collar, he could see Harry was screaming. Draco's mind told him to do something but his body wouldn't allow him to move. A sudden green flash of light flashed before his eyes and the next Harry was lying on the ground, dead.

"Harry!" Draco screamed waking himself up. He had fallen asleep on his desk. He let out a few pants before wiping the sweat off his forehead and the cold tears away from his eyes. Draco closed his eyes trying to catch his breath but his heart wouldn't slow down.

"It was only a dream . . ." he assured himself. "But . . . why was Snape there? . . . and why did he kill Harry?" Draco became scared, that he may be living among a death eater. Snape was always like his Father in a way, it would make sense. Suddenly Draco's door swung open.

"Draco?" Snape peeked in his room.

"Yes?" Draco turned around startled.

"Are you alright, I heard a scream."

"Yes, yes I'm fine, just a nightmare . . ." Draco forced a half smile.

"Alright then, good night." Snape closed the door behind him.

Draco then noticed a letter had arrived for him while he was sleeping, it was from Harry. He read the letter, it made him feel so much better. But still . . . the dream had dazed him. He stared at the letter before him but something caught his eye. A flash of green light lit the sky outside his window. His heart almost stopped when he saw the sight before him; at least a dozen death eaters marching towards the mansion.

* * *

Harry stood beside Dumbledore awaiting the death eater's attack. He took a look at his ring and watched the shine reflect in his eyes. He closed his hand into a tight fist. When the death eaters appeared through the fog, Draco was standing before him. Before he could react, Voldemort appeared right before his eyes, taking Draco by the neck. 

"Let him go!" Harry yelled.

Voldemort didn't respond, he just smirked and before Harry could act a flash of green light surrounded Draco's body. He watched Draco's piercing silver eyes scream back at him right before he landed on the ground motionless.

"NO!!!" Harry screamed falling to his knees. "DRACO!!!"

"Harry! Harry!" Ron was shaking Harry's shoulder's trying to wake him up. Harry finally opened his eyes to see Ron staring at him with a concerned expression.

"Harry!" Harry opened his eyes more, his vision becoming clear.

But Harry still felt as though he was in a dream, he screamed at the top of his lungs, Ron took hold of his shoulders and held him down.

"Harry! Harry! Stop it's just me . . . calm down." Harry was panting like crazy, he barely managed to respond.

"R-Ron . . . please . . . is he okay? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S OKAY!"" Harry grabbed on to Ron's shirt and held on tight.

"Harry, calm down it was just a nightmare . . ." Harry loosened the grip on Ron's shirt and let himself fall backwards.

"I'll get you some water." Ron stood up and walked over to the bathroom filling up a cup with cold water. Harry took a few sips and managed to stop his heart from beating so fast.

"Are you okay?" Ron asked with full concern.

"I-I think so."

"What did you dream about?"

"I saw him, Ron . . . he killed Draco . . . right before my eyes and I couldn't save him." Harry's eyes became watery.

"It was just a dream, Harry. Don't worry, alright?"

"I wouldn't worry, if all my dreams didn't come true."

* * *

"Severus!" Draco screamed.

Snape came rushing in through the door which seemed like a split second after Draco screamed.

"Get down!" Snape yelled grabbing Draco's shoulders and pulling him down from the window. A flash of green light blasted through the window causing the glass to shatter on the ground. Severus huddled over Draco, protecting him from the flying glass. In that moment, Draco hated himself for thinking that Snape might have been a death eater.

"Draco . . . get out of here." Draco could scarcely here him.

"What?" Draco leaned upward to see Snape had been struck by a piece of glass in his chest.

"Go, now!" Snape spoke as loudly as he could.

"No!" Draco looked at the wound and back at Snape. "Your fine, you're going to be fine, come on we have to get out of here!" Draco tried lift Snape by his shoulders but it was no use.

"Draco . . . please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. You need to go, now!"

"But- but you saved my life . . ." Draco felt completely weak, he could barely talk.

"It was my duty . . . as your God Father. Please go now, think of Potter. I promised I- I would get you out safe. If you ever had the slightest respect for me . . . then you would leave now . . . leave now, please." Snape became deathly pale, his fingers were shaking and his eyes seemed a darker shade of black. He fell backwards onto the floor, almost looking like he fell in slow motion.

"NO!!!" Draco yelled sobbing as he looked at Snape's blood which stained his hands. Draco saw another green flash through his window; he got up quickly and ran as fast as he could down the hall. He raced down the stairs stumbling a few times before making it to the bottom. Draco ran to the basement trying to find the least bit of light, any moment he thought he would be faced with the enemy. He found the basement window and crawled out, only to be faced with fear itself. Standing before him; Lord Voldemort.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." The dark lord made slight bow and grinned at the sight before him.


	26. Chapter 26

"Harry, you can't do this!" Ron shouted.

"I have to, Ron. You don't understand." Harry continued packing his clothes.

"Of course, I don't understand, I never understand do I?"

"I didn't mean it like that, it's just . . . I have to do this."

"And what do you expect to accomplish?! Getting killed?!"

"I need to make sure Draco's okay; I didn't have that dream for nothing!"

Ron kneeled down to Harry's level and gripped his shoulders.

"Harry get a hold of yourself, it was just. A. Dream."

"I don't care, Ron. Dreams aren't just dreams to me anymore. I have a bad feeling, and I won't rest until I'm sure he's okay."

Harry stood up and carried his suitcase making his way to the door. Ron ran in front of Harry standing in front of his way out.

"No, Harry. You're not going anywhere."

"Ron, please don't make this difficult, I'm leaving one way or another."

"No your not, I won't just sit back and watch you kill yourself!"

"Nothing is going to happen to me Ron, now please move." Harry held his wand in his hand and brought it up so it was pointing towards Ron.

"Harry, please, don't do this."

"Move aside, Ron." Harry's arm was shaking.

"NO!"

"I said move!" Harry's wand sprouted out a gleam of light. Ron moved out of the way before it struck him, instead it struck the door causing the spell to break.

"Fine! Get the fuck out of here!" Ron yelled between sobs, crouching down on the floor.

Harry looked at Ron is dismay; he kneeled down and pulled him into a firm embrace. Ron's body was limp.

"Ron, look at me." Ron looked up at Harry fighting back more tears. "I promise you, I will come back. You trust me don't you?"

Ron didn't say anything; he just made a slight nod and let Harry go completely.

"Ron, when you love someone so deeply, you'll do anything in your power to protect them, and you almost feel responsible for that other life. And if anything ever happened to Draco, I would never be able to forgive myself. Living with that blame is far worse than death."

Rod wiped the tears away from his eyes and watched Harry stand up.

"You think I don't understand, Harry but I do. I love you, like a brother and if anything ever happened to you_ I_ would never be able to forgive myself."

"I'm sorry, Ron." Was the last thing he said before he disappeared out the door.

* * *

Draco was on his knees before the Dark Lord. His eyes had grown wide, ever pore vibrating causing him to tremble at the sight before him.

"If you're thinking now, 'Oh God, why is this happening to me?' then the answer is God has nothing to do with it, this is your fate, Malfoy, it's been chosen for you." Voldemort took a step closer to Draco.

"Hm, you look more like your Mother than your Father." Voldemort snickered. "Now, I'm going to make this easy on you, join me now and follow in my footsteps, or the death eaters do what they wish with you."

"Never . . ." Draco's voice was low.

"What was that, boy?" Voldemort sneered.

"Never!" Draco stood up, regaining his strength.

"Very well then . . ." Voldemort stepped out of the way of the death eaters. Then suddenly he stepped back in front of them.

"Wait." Voldemort moved close to Draco and examined his face. "You're in love with Potter, aren't you?" Draco didn't answer; he looked away from Voldemort's eyes and looked down.

"Answer me when I speak to you!" Voldemort took Draco by his neck and threw him on the ground. Draco started coughing trying to catch his breath.

Voldemort kneeled down.

"Perhaps, I will have use for you."

* * *

Harry made it out of the Castle; the battle had taken an unexpected turn. Dumbledore and the army were no where in sight. But in the distance he could hear the sound of the battle and the smell of blood. Harry made his way quickly to the docks, and then suddenly a hand gripped his shoulder. Harry turned around to see Blaise standing before him. 

"Blaise?"

"I'm coming with you."

"No, Blaise, I'm going alone." Harry kneeled down to untie the rope.

"I'm going with you, Potter. You can't stop me."

Harry stood up forcefully.

"I can stop you." Harry glared at Blaise, he didn't have time for this right now. For all he knew Draco could be dead. He needed to get there and get there quick.

Before Harry could act a loud crash was heard only a few feet away. Blaise turned in the opposite direction and ran towards the sound.

"Blaise wait!" Harry followed after, until he came to a halt, nearly half of the army were scattered along the battlegrounds. Dumbledore was still fighting some of them off but he could see Dumbledore was weak.

Harry and Blaise dug out their wands and ran in opposite directions around the field. Dumbledore saw Harry and in the corner of his eye.

"Harry NO!" Dumbledore ran infront of Harry before a death eater could strike him. Instead Dumbledore was struck with a flash of green light that almost appreared to be green fire. Harry watched the light reflect off his eyes, It was just like that night when his parents died. Now it was happening all over again.

"NO!" Harry kneeled down before Dumbledore. There was no movement, absolutely nothing. He was a live one moment then dead the next. Blaise had managed to scare off some of the death eaters. The rest of the army took care of the rest, and now the air was filled with silence. Blaise ran towards Harry, and kneeled down next to him.

"Harry, come on, we have to get out of here. They could be back any minute!"

"NO!" Harry could barely speak; his sobs were far too deep. He leaned his body next Dumbledore, like when Cedric died. Would these horrors constantly be played back over and over again? Was it impossible for Harry to have happiness and for once no one die for him? Right then it didn't seem possible, nothing felt real, and neither did the sound of his beating heart.


	27. Chapter 27

"Harry . . . he's gone." Blaise held onto Harry's shoulder.

"But . . . he can't be gone." Harry stopped crying after a few minutes, his eyes refused to make more tears. And that stuffy feeling you get after you've cried so much gave him an unbearable head ache. Harry leaned himself up and looked at Dumbledore, his eyes were still opened and his skin turned a shade whiter. How would Harry explain this? If he hadn't left in the first place then it wouldn't have happened. For the first time Harry was guilty of committing a crime. He had murdered Dumbledore. He didn't kill him physically but he drove him to it.

"Harry, we'll come back for him, but we have to go." Blaise tried to sound as calm as possible.

Harry leaned over and placed his hand over Dumbledore's eyes and shut them slowly.

"Sleep . . ." Harry whispered.

Harry felt paralyzed from the waist down. No muscle would dare move.

"AHHHH!" Harry felt his forhead, his scar was throbbing in pain.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Blaise clenched onto Harry's wrist. "Come on let's go!"

"Harry Potter . . ."

Harry and Blaise looked behind them; Lord Voldemort stood only a few feet away from him, death eaters crowded around on each side of him. Draco stood helplessly next to Voldemort.

Harry's eyes became wide with fear, this _had_ to be a dream. It was just a dream . . . no a nightmare. A nightmare he could never escape.

"It's been a while, Harry. I can't imagine why you've been avoiding me." Voldemort smirked.

Harry's spine tensed and shivered, causing his hands to shake and the tips of his fingers turned ice cold.

"Harry don't listen to him-" Draco yelled just before Voldemort could strike the side of his face with a hard blow.

Draco fell to the ground next to him, breathing in and out deeply, he couldn't seem to find the strength to stand back up. Pain and misery filled every pore of his body. In that split second, Draco saw his Father's figure flash before his eyes.

"Draco!" Harry yelled, somehow regaining strength. He stood up pointing his wand at Voldemort, his hand still shaking.

"Harry, stop!" Blaise yelled.

Harry ignored him and continued to hold up his wand.

"It looks like we're at an impasse, Harry." Voldemort took a step closer towards Harry's wand. "You can either come with me now, and Draco lives or you can choose to fight me and both Draco and yourself will die. What will it be? either way you _will_ die."

Harry lowered his wand and glanced at Draco.

"Harry . . . " Draco groaned, still unable to stand.

Harry lowered his wand all the way.

"Harry, don't." Blaise spoke up.

"Shut up, Blaise." Harry glared at him and then back at Voldemort.

"Can I at least say good bye to him . . .?" Harry almost whispered, glancing down at Draco.

"Wise choice, Harry." Voldemort smirked and gave him a nod.

Harry bent down, his ankles becoming weak as he crouched down next to Draco.

"Draco . . ." Harry lifted up his chin.

"I won't let you do this, Harry. Your stronger than that." Draco stood up taking Harry's hand.

"I can't . . . I won't let you die because of me. I'm through with people dying for me."

"You can do this." Draco brought Harry's hands closer.

"Say good bye to me, please." Harry looked down.

"No!" Draco pulled him closer, bringing his arms around his shoulders. "I will never say good bye . . . I told you I wasn't going to lose you again."

"You have to . . ." Harry pulled away from him still keeping his gaze to the ground. "I love you, Draco. I pray you remember that." Harry looked once more at Draco's silver eyes then back to Voldemort.

Voldemort had his wand pointed at Harry.

"Look at me." Volemort sneered. Harry looked up. "I want to see your eyes when you die."

"No!" Draco ran in front of Harry.

"Draco, don't!" Harry yelled, trying to push him away.

"No! I won't let you die!" Draco pulled out his wand, but Voldemort acted quickly.

"Draco!" Blaise yelled throwing himself in front of Draco.

"Avada Kedavra!" Volemort yelled throwing his wand in Draco's direction, hitting Blaise instead.

"Blaise!" Draco fell to his knees. Blaise's limp body layed before him, a green powder still abrupt from his skin

"Stupid boy." Voldemort glanced down at Blaise.

Voldemort had become furious now, he threw his attention back to Harry, who stood behind Draco, in complete shock. Draco looked up at Voldemort who had his wand pointed at Harry.

"Say good bye Potter!"

Suddenly Draco aroused from his knees throwing himself in front of Harry.

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort hit Draco. Draco's body twirled in the air, landing a few feet away from Harry.

"NO! DRACO!" Harry screamed and ran towards him. Draco had been protected by Blaise's sacrafice.

"Harry watch out!" Draco yelled before Harry could lean down. Voldemort didn't waste a moment and struck Harry with the curse once again. Harry fell to his knees holding the pit of his stomach.

"Curse you Potter!" Voldemort growled. Despite the fact that Harry hadn't died, he was still weak, the curse had brought not only physical pain but memories, of the night his parents were killed. Voldemort knew now, that both Harry and Draco were protected from the curse. Blaise saved Draco, and Dumbledore saved Harry. Voldemort could not kill them.

Harry fell unconcious next to Draco.

"This is not over, Harry. We'll meet again." Voldemort vanished in a cloud of green dust a long with his followers.

"Harry . . ." Draco whimpered. He couldn't move, the curse had wounded him. The cut across his chest revealed a crimson liquid.


	28. Chapter 28

" . . . Harry."

Harry opened his eyes slowly, a cool breeze flew over his body.

" Harry."

Harry looked to his right and saw Draco lying next to him, breathing heavily.

"Draco?" Harry shut his eyes then opened them again.

"Harry . . ." Draco whispered. "Are you alright?"

Harry turned himself over on his side and crawled over to Draco. As soon as he saw the blood on his chest the tears started to fall once again.

"Draco . . . your hurt." Harry sniffed.

"Shhhh . . ." Draco brought his fingers up to Harry's mouth. "I'm alright. I asked if you were alright."

"I'm fine, but we need to get you to the hospital." Harry held Draco's hand tightly.

"No . . . I can't." Draco's voice became a whisper.

"What are you talking about?" Harry leaned closer, more tears filling up in his eyes.

"Harry . . . I'm not going to make it." Draco cringed at the pain shooting down his chest. "I'm sorry."

"STOP IT!" Harry held his hand tighter. "Don't you dare leave me!"

"I'm sorry . . . I love you, please never forget that."

"NO!" Harry sobbed. "Don't . . . " Harry could barely speak, his sobs took full control.

"Harry . . . tell me you love me." Draco's silver eyes pleaded. "Please . . ."

"I love you . . ." Harry's sob became louder as he watched Draco's angelic face turn to the side. His eyes were closed, like when he had watched him sleep so many times. Harry's vision had become a blur, and in the distance he could almost hear the sound of someone calling his name.

_"Harry!"_

_

* * *

__"Imagine me without You_

_I'd be lost and so confused_

_I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid_

_Without You there to see me through_

_Imagine me without You_

_Lord, You know it's just impossible_

_Because of You, it's all brand new_

_My life is now worthwhile_

_I can't imagine me without You . . ."_

* * *

"Harry . . . Harry . . . Harry." Harry opened his eyes slowly, the lids had become a dark grey color. His vision was once again clear and the sound of beeping came from his right side. 

"Her- Hermione?" Harry asked, his voice weak.

"Harry . . . your in the hospital." Hermione replied holding on to his hand.

"I'm - I'm so sorry . . ." Harry started to cry. He had just remembered what happened before he blacked out. The memory had all shot out at once; first Dumbledore, Blaise and then . . .

"NO!" Harry leaned up as he imagined Draco's limp body before him.

"Shhhhh!" Hermione layed him back down. "It's alright, your safe."

"Dr-Draco." Harry slipped out between sobs.

"Harry, Harry get a hold of yourself." Hermione grabbed his wrists. "Draco didn't-"

"Harry?" Both Harry and Hermione looked towards the calling voice. Draco layed in the bed next to Harry, his chest bandaged up.

"DRACO!" Harry's eyes shot open.

"That's what I was trying to tell you." Hermione stood up and pushed Harry's bed next to Draco filling in the gap.

Harry crawled over and pushed himself up against Draco.

"AHHH!" Draco squinted.

"Sorry!" Harry leaned backwards.

"Don't- Don't be silly, come here." Draco opened his arms and pulled Harry close to him, ignoring the pain. Draco couldn't stop himself from crying. He never thought he would be able to hold Harry in his arms like that ever again, or breathe in his soft, beautiful scent.

"Draco . . . I thought I'd lost you." Harry sniffed.

Hermione slipped out the hospital wing to give them privacy.

"I love you, Harry." Draco kissed his forehead, his lips lingering for a few moments.

"I love you too . . ." Harry kissed Draco's chin, then moved up to his lips to give him a quick kiss.

"No . . . don't stop." Draco pulled Harry's body closer and kissed him. Something about the kiss was different, it wasn't as hungry as the others, it was soft and passionate. The perfect kiss that you only get once in your lifetime.

"Draco, please don't ever leave me again . . ." Harry whispered trailing kisses down his neck.

"Never." Draco replied with a full passionate kiss.

Harry leaned his body over Draco's cautious not to put too much weight egainst his chest.

"Harry . . . I need you so much." Draco tugged at Harry's shirt.

"We - we can't." Harry replied taking the hand Draco was holding on with and clasped it with his hand.

"Why . . .?" Draco whined.

"Because your in no condition to get 'active' and we're in a damn hospital."

"Even better." Draco pulled Harry back towards him, and kissed him once again. That was it, Harry could no longer escape the power Draco had over him. Once he locked him within his grasp there was no way of getting out.

"Draco . . . ahhh." Harry felt himself becoming hard.

Then suddenly the door of the hospital wing opened. Harry shuffled off Draco quickly.

"Harry!" Ron ignored the fact that he was interupting and ran over to Harry hugging him tightly. "Bloody Hell! I'm so glad your alive! I was so worried! What happened?! Are you alright?!"

"Ron, Ron." Harry took his wrists and kept them steady. "I'm fine . . . if only I wasn't the only one." Harry looked down.

"Harry, what happened with Dumbledore wasn't your fault . . ." Ron whispered.

"Yes it was." Harry kept his head down. "For once, Ron it was my fault. If it weren't for me . . ." Harry was cut off by strong arms around his waist.

"Stop it." Draco said firmly. "That was not your fault. Do you understand me?" Draco made his grip tighter.

"But-"

"Shhhhh . . ." Draco hissed huskily in his ear. "You've done nothing for which you should be ashamed."

"I've done nothing, and for that I am ashamed." Harry leaned over the side of his bed, facing the opposite direction.

"I'll come back later, Harry. When your feeling better." Ron whispered keeping his head down.

"Don't worry, Ron." Draco gave Ron a nod.

"Harry . . . " Draco moved next to Harry's drapping his arm around his shoulder.

"Please don't . . ." Harry pushed away. "You almost died because of me . . . maybe it's not a good idea we see eachother anymore."

"Fuck you." Draco sneered.

"Excuse me?" Harry turned to his right and glanced at Draco.

"You heard me right. Your a lousy git for saying that. How could you even think to say something like that after what you put me through before? Harry, we're getting married for God sakes! Enough of this bull shit!"

"There isn't going to be a wedding . . ."

"What?" Draco felt his chest collapse.

Harry turned his head back down to the floor.

"I'm sorry . . . I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Listen to me; what I've come to believe is that you push me away when you want to tell me that you love me, your stubborn, almost as much as me but I love you, I love you more than anything. Ron and Hermione care about you deeply, your parents and Sirius loved you very much. Dumbledore gave his life for you, he always saw something in you, and he loved you like you were his own. You know that, and you know that he would have given more of his life for you." Draco turned Harry around so he was facing him. "What happened to them were tragedy's . . . unfortantly they happen every day, Harry. But they were not under any circumstances your fault, you've got to believe that."

Harry leaned forward burrying his face in Draco's shoulder. "I love you." Harry whimpered, pulling Draco's body closer to him.

"I know, love. I know." Draco rubbed Harry's back, letting him cry out the rest of his tears on his shoulder.

* * *

**I bet I scared a good deal of you with that "killing off Draco scene" lol. I know it was cruel, but I actually did consider doing it but I figured that I might get killed if I do that . . . so yeah. Thanks for the new reviews . . . I wish I had those other 65 one's I lost. I'm still really pissed about that . . . grrrrr.**

**-Manda**


	29. Chapter 29

Dumbledore's funeral was far worse than Cedric's funeral in his forth year. He felt as though everyone was starring at him and he knew it wasn't because Draco was holding his hand. He had been given this look before; a look which haunted him with his waking eyes. Harry felt the wandering eyes fall on his back, and on the side of his face but he did his best to shrug it off. Draco could see Harry was uncomfortable, and gave his hand an occasional squeeze when he saw his shoulders tense. There would be two more Funeral's that week; Blaise Zabini's and Severes Snape's. When Harry mentioned them to Draco, he insisted he was alright but Harry knew Draco's mask, he knew it all too well.

"Now Harry Potter would like to say a few words . . ." Harry looked up at Hagrid who had just given a speech about Dumbledore. He doubted that anyone could understand what he was saying.

"It's alright, I'm here." Draco whispered brushing his lips above Harry's forehead.

"Harry?" Hagrid looked down from the stand. Harry gave him a quick nod and stood up slowly.

Draco gave him a small push from behind.

Harry walked up to the stand. The sound of soft chatters filled the room making him shiver.

_"I can do this."_

Harry stood up and glanced around quickly at his audience. Most of them were crying or had been crying. All of the professor's stood along the back. McGonagall gave Harry and nod.

"We're all here today because we've lost someone dear to us; but I have to say, Albus Dumbledore was not a trophy; he was a man, an important man who gave his life for me."

A few gasps were let out around the room and side conversations grew.

"A man who believed in me, when none of you would even glance in my direction." A few more gasps aroused from the crowd. Harry looked at Draco who gave him a reassuring nod to continue.

"I look around at familiar faces and I know the grievance that you feel is not only melancholy but betrayal. The Dark Lord has taken something from each one of us, leaving an empty space in our hearts. He's taken something from me for the last time, and I swear upon my word that Albus Dumbledore will not die in vein. He was too great of a man and a friend for this to be his ending. I stand here before you today not as "The boy who lived" but as "Harry Potter." I am a real person, not some legend that you pass along. I am just human, and that's what Dumbledore taught me. So today, we say good-bye to our Headmaster, our friend and loyal guide. Thank you for everything Albus Dumbledore and I pray that you rest in peace."

Harry glanced around at the crowd once more before stepping down. Harry was nearly shocked by a loud sound of applause. He walked back to his seat not once looking up to face any of the wandering eyes and sat back down next to Draco.

Draco took his hand again and caressed his fair skin.

"You spoke beautifully." Draco whispered.

Harry smiled lightly and moved himself closer to Draco, resting his head on his shoulder.

After the ceremony, everyone gathered in the Great Hall. Harry wasn't too thrilled about the fact there were people from the Daily Prophet awaiting an interview with him.

"Mr. Potter!"

"Harry Potter! How are you feeling right now?"

"Do you have any comments?"

"Do you feel responsible?"

Nearly a dozen reporters crowded around Harry. Draco was forced to let go of his hand.

"Harry!" Draco yelled trying to pull him out from the crowded circle. "Leave him alone!" Draco yelled shoving people out of the way.

"Hey kid watch it, we're trying to get our story here." A reporter yelled as he shoved Draco back.

Draco was furious. Simply furious.

"That's it!" Draco pulled the reporter back and threw one of his famous Malfoy punches in his direction. The guy fell backwards on the ground causing the rest of the crowd to turn and gasp.

"Harry come on!" Draco yelled pulling Harry's arm when the reporters weren't looking.

Harry and Draco made a hard dash down the hallway. They could hear in the distance footsteps trailing behind them. Draco looked to his right and threw Harry inside a closet shutting the door behind them.

"How original, a closet." Harry chuckled.

"Are you alright?" Draco placed his hands on Harry's shoulders.

Something happened in the instant that Harry looked at Draco. Harry didn't know what happened but he started to laugh, not just laugh but laugh hysterically.

"What? Did I miss something?" Draco looked around.

Harry continued laughing.

"I-I don't know why I'm laughing." Harry leaned against Draco.

"I don't know either, but I like it. It's nice to finally see you laugh." Draco pulled Harry closer to him.

"You know there's just something so unbelievably sexy about hiding in a closet." Harry said playfully.

"You think so?" Draco smirked as he lowered his head to kiss Harry's neck.

"Draco, are you trying to seduce me?" Harry chuckled.

"Mhmmm . . . your finally catching on, Potter." Draco filled in the space between them and kissed Harry hungrily. Harry moaned slightly at the feeling of Draco against his body.

Draco wanted Harry, and Harry wanted Draco. They didn't waste any time. Harry pulled off Draco's shirt then his own.

Draco hissed at the feeling of his bare skin against Harry's. Harry started to laugh again, this time he felt a little insane.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Potter but it's so sexy." Draco unzipped his pants and let Harry pull them down to his knees while he worked on Harry's zipper.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Draco asked before going any further. Harry didn't reply he just pulled Draco's boxers down sucking on his chest.

"Mmmmm . . ." Draco moaned and pulled down Harry's boxers as well. Harry pushed Draco on his back forcefully.

"Now it's my turn." Harry whispered in Draco's ear. Draco shivered as he felt Harry's body straddle over him.

"Harry . . . please . . ." Draco whimpered.

"Malfoy, are you begging me?" Harry smirked.

"Please . . ."

"What do you want, Draco?"

"I-I want you _now!"_ Harry didn't need another word. He positioned himself over Draco and pushed himself inside slowly. Draco's spine tensed up while he made a slight hiss from the pain.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked sounding concerned.

"Go . . . faster." Harry did as he was told. With every thrust it was becoming easier to flow in and out.

"Harry!" Draco yelled arching his back.

Harry bit his lip as he watched Draco's angelic body tense up from pleasure.

"Draco . . . Oh God!" Harry hadn't remembered their first time being this way. He wasn't so eager to talk, probably because he was so nervous. This time it was hot and passionate, not as sweet and innocent as before.

"Harry . . . don't stop!" Harry wanted to continue but he knew his body wouldn't let him go much longer. After a few more thrusts he released.

"Draco!" Harry yelled.

Harry moved himself off Draco and leaned against the side of the closet. And for some reason; his once uncontrollable laughing was now replaced with tears.

"H-Harry?" Draco crawled over to Harry. "What's wrong . . . love?"

"Draco . . . I'm sorry." Harry sobbed.

"W-What are you talking about? You were amazing . . ." Draco kissed his forehead gently.

"No . . . I just love you so much, I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. For some reason this feels like the last time we'll ever see each other. I'm so used to being alone."

"Hey . . . stop." Draco wiped away a few tears streaming down Harry's face. "I love you so much, Harry. I wish there was more I could say, you just have to trust me. Do you?"

"I do." Harry smiled lightly wiping his face.

"Speaking of "I dos" we have to start planning the wedding."

Suddenly the closet door swung open.

"Blood hell!" Harry covered himself up with his shirt. Draco did the same.

A tall slender figure stood in the doorway.

"Draco?"

Draco's heart stopped when he saw none other than the supposed to be deceased Blaise Zabini standing before him.

**Oooo, my evil side is coming out, sorry but it was the perfect place to end the chapter. I'll update soon, don't worry. Please review!**

**-Manda**


	30. Chapter 30

Draco's eyes were wide, his lips curled from his body shaking with horror. He then knew how it felt to be in the presence of a ghost.

"B-Blaise?" Draco shivered.

"Yeah." Blaise nodded.

"H-How?" Draco stood up pulling his boxers and pants on.

"Blaise . . . we saw you . . ." Harry was at lost for words.

"I know, I have some explaining to do . . . may I speak to you in private?" Blaise glanced over at Harry who was sitting in the corner of the closet.

"Of course." Draco turned back to Harry. "I'll meet you in the library."

Harry nodded.

Draco grabbed his shirt from the floor and threw it on before disappearing with Blaise.

Draco followed Blaise to the Library, to that spot where he had almost beat up Ron.

"Alright, I know this is going to sound strange but you have to believe me, alright?"

Draco placed his hands on Blaise's shoulders.

"Don't worry, I'll believe you."

"Alright," Blaise took a deep sigh and continued. "The Dark Lord has been on to you for months. One night I was kidnapped, taken to his lair. He poisoned me, with something. The name I can not recall. He wanted to use me to get to you but when I refused to help; that's when he poisoned me. Whatever it was made it so I couldn't tell anyone about what he said to me, what I saw, anything. The spell would not let me talk about him to anyone which is why I couldn't warn you. Then recently before you had gone to Malfoy Mansion with Snape I was kidnapped again. He pulled out my thoughts. All of the information I had about you and where you went; which is why they found you. Then that night . . . the reason I didn't die was because Voldemort wanted you to believe I was dead, not actually do it. His plan was to use me, poison my mind and turn me against you so I would join him. But I escaped, and here I am now."

"Blood Hell, Blaise. I'm so sorry." Draco looked as though he was about to cry.

"Don't be . . . you couldn't do anything about it. It was out our hands . . . but that's why it needs to be stopped. Now I can warn you, Draco. He's going to come back . . . and I'm afraid . . ."

"Don't worry Blaise . . . please. I won't let that happen to you again. I promise." Draco pulled Blaise into a firm embrace reassuring his friend it would be alright.

"Draco . . . there's something else . . ." Blaise pulled away.

"What is it?"

"Draco . . . I need you so much."

"I need you too, Blaise."

Blaise shook his head. "No I mean . . ."

Blaise draped his arms around Draco.

"I love you . . . I can't help it . . . and seeing you with Potter is just tearing me apart. When I look at the two of you, I know that it should be me. It used to be me . . ."

"Shhhhh . . ." Draco pulled away. "Don't . . ."

"Why? Are you ashamed of the fact that I used to be the one you loved? Does Potter know that?"

"Blaise, stop it. You and I both know what we had was merely a crush. I never once told you that I loved you."

"Does Potter know, Draco? I'm sure he doesn't."

"No he doesn't, and he's not going to. Understand?"

Blaise captured Draco's lips hungrily, pushing him against a book case, gripping onto his collar.

Draco turned his head to see out of the corner of his eye; Harry standing there in dismay. Of course Harry had to show up; it was the perfect thing to ruin his life. It was just his luck.

Harry turned around quickly when Draco saw him and ran away.

Draco shoved Blaise off of him.

"Dammit, Blaise! Now look what you did!" Draco glared at him then turned his attention back to Harry running out of the library.

"Harry wait!" Draco followed after, he never even glanced over his shoulder.

* * *

Harry stood in front of the Gryffindor common room.

"Harry!"

Harry ignored him and turned his attention back to the door just about to say the past word when Draco grabbed him from behind.

"Let go of me!"

"No! Not until you let me explain."

"I said LET GO!" Harry shoved him off with all his might.

Harry slipped into his room, shut and locked the door behind him.

"Harry don't do this!" Draco pounded on the door.

"Go away, Draco!"

"NO! Not until you listen to me, dammit! It's not what you think!"

"Oh right, it's never what I think! It's never what anyone thinks! Nice try but bad line!"

"Listen to me, I'm fucking serious! If you don't come out of there I'll find a way in!"

"GO ahead, see if I care."

"Harry . . ." Draco leaned his forehead against the door. "Please . . . I don't like Blaise . . . I dated him once, but it was a long time ago, and only to get you out of my mind!"

"And that just slipped your mind?"

"No, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd act like this . . ."

Harry leaned against the door, listening to Draco panting softly. He wasn't as mad at Draco as he made out. He was furious at Blaise, he knew Draco was his and that was the mere fact that pissed him off.

"Why did you kiss him?"

"I didn't kiss him, he kissed me! I swear to you Harry from the bottom of my heart, I love you! What do you want a list of reasons why I love you? Well here it is; Your stubborn which is unbelievably hot, your eyes! Where do I begin? There so beautiful . . . captivating, you sacrifice everything for the ones you love, the pride you have, I can be myself around you, and I'm not afraid. You saved me Potter, you've given me something worth living for and I will be hanged if that is ever taken away from me! Do I need to go on, because I can talk all day?"

Harry didn't answer.

"For God's sake I let you fuck me in a closet! That's real love!"

" . . .?"

Draco looked to his left in horror, to see Ron and Hermione standing there with their jaws dropped.

"Oh shit."

"Maybe we came at a bad time . . .?" Ron said to Hermione, his face flushed.

Harry's eyes became wide.

"Ron and Hermione are out there aren't they?"

"Y-Yeah . . ."

Harry opened the door. His face was still flushed and old tears were across his face.

"Sorry guys." Harry said. "We'll take this somewhere else." Harry said taking Draco's hand.

Ron and Hermione stood there for a moment, waiting for Harry and Draco to turn the corner before they bursted out laughing.

"Harry . . . I'm really sorry." Draco cupped Harry's face.

"No . . . I'm sorry. I don't know what happened . . . I trust you it's just when I saw him kissing you it was like I couldn't breathe."

"You had every right to be upset. It's cute how jealous you got."

Harry blushed.

"I can't believe you said that." Harry chuckled.

"Yeah, well I didn't think Weasley and Granger would be standing there."

"So what was Blaise's explanation?"

"I'll tell you when I get back, first I have to clear things up with him."

"A-Alright . . ." Harry pouted.

Draco pulled Harry to his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

"Listen to me, he's my best friend. I know you're not happy with him right now but I need to talk to him. And I promise you nothing is going on between us. I love you, and only you."

"Fine . . ." Harry pulled away.

"Dammit, Potter. This is what I'm talking about the stubborn thing . . . I could jump you right now."

"Hmmm . . ." Harry looked up. "Too bad you have to go." Harry smirked and kissed Draco's forehead.

"Oh God . . ." Draco felt his body shiver, with that single touch. Harry's smirk became a smile. His hands wandered down near Draco's thighs and pressed against them lightly, and before going any further he let go completely taking a step back. Draco's eyes which were closed opened immediately at the feel of Harry leave his body.

"Too bad." Harry snickered and turned to walk away.

"Potter . . . y-you teased me."

Harry continued walking with the biggest grin on his face. He had teased Malfoy, and he knew it hurt . . . it hurt badly.

_"Damn Potter, now I need a cold shower."_


	31. Chapter 31

Blaise curled himself up into a ball on the library floor. His legs became weak which sent a numbing sensation running through his body. His heart had slowed down but he could still hear the soft pounds if he was quiet enough. Blaise had faught with himself about what he had just done . . . was it the right thing to do? Though, it didn't matter to ask questions like that, no matter what he did it wouldn't change anything. After he thought about it for a moment he realized that he could keep his feelings under control at the beginning when Draco had tried to commit suicide. He never really wanted him and Harry to end up together, he just wanted Harry to cure him, then that would be it. He wanted Draco happy, and that's what he did. He put aside his feelings for him, but he couldn't do that anymore. What he felt was real, there was no denying that. He wouldn't have sacrificed himself on Draco's behalf. Just imagining his life without Draco was . . . unbearable. The horrors which passed through his mind were exaclty like his nightmares. There was a constant dream that he would have about being alone. Draco never knew but that was Blaise's fear. Being alone. Now it was happening right before his eyes and there was nothing he could do, absolutely nothing. Draco loved Harry, and that was the end of it.

"B-Blaise?" Draco approaced him at a steady pace.

Blaise closed his eyes, the velvet sound of Draco's voice made his heart jump. He looked up to immediately then turned away to hide the developing tears.

"Don't look at me." Blaise sneered.

"Blaise . . . It's okay. I've seen you cry before."

"I'm not crying!" Blaise slammed his fist down on the floor.

The librarian gave Draco and unpleasant look. He walked over to Blaise and picked him up by his arm and dragged him into the back of the library.

"Blaise, listen to me. You don't have to pretend." Draco turned Blaise's face towards him.

"S-Stop it." Blaise turned away, avoiding any eyecontact.

Draco sighed and went to hug Blaise but he stopped himself.

"Blaise, I'm not going to hug you right now because it will only make things worse . . . you need to break from me and I think the only way to do that is to give each other space. We need to be distant from one another until this passes . . ."

"This isn't going to pass, Draco." Blaise interupted.

"Yes, it will. I promise you, it will. Your my best friend and you'll always be my best friend but I can not have something like this happen again. As much as it pains me to see you this way I have to be honest and in order to do that I have to hurt you. Harry and I are engaged . . . and I love him, Blaise. I've finally found someone . . . and he loves me. You know I've loved him from the first moment I saw him and I will until the day I die . . ."

"Exaclty my point . . . you never stopped loving Harry simply because you love him. I can't stop loving you because . . . I _love_ you." Blaise sighed deeply.

"I do not doubt that, Blaise. But you know this can not be . . . I thank you for loving me and caring for me so much. I never thought I would have that but you've given me something Harry hasn't . . ."

Blaise looked at him curiously.

"Strength . . . Of course Harry has given me strength but for most of my life, he made me weak. You gave me strength from the very beginning. It was all because of you, I'm alive. You've saved me twice, I only hope I can return the favor someday. The only thing I want from you is our friendship . . . something I have taken advantage of over the past years. If you can not be my friend, Blaise then . . . we must end this."

"Stop . . ." Blaise almost whispered. "Just go."

"I do care about you, Blaise . . . please don't forget that." Draco turned and walked away, keeping his steps at a steady pace.

As soon as Draco walked away Blaise let the air subside through his lungs letting out a gasp. He felt as though all the air was trapped inside of him and now his breathing was becoming heavy. He lowered his head and let the tears fall onto his finer tips. Anger, Jealousy, Betrayel . . . was enough to drive him completely _mad_.

* * *

Draco leaned against the wall outside the library. It hurt . . . it hurt so much to see Blaise that way but he kept reassuring himself that it was the right thing to do. It had to be done, no matter what he said it would hurt him. He did his best to shrug off the feeling but Blaise's image remained in front of him even with his eyes closed. 

Harry was sitting in the Great Hall, everyone had cleared out by then. The reporters gave up on trying to get any comments from him and left. Harry still knew there would be an article about him, and it would be a bunch of lies. Draco had taken longer than Harry expected. Occasionally there would be this sensative shiver run down his spine and he knew that couldn't be a good sign.

Draco made his way to the Great Hall and saw Harry curled up on the couch starring at the burning flames of the fireplace.

"Oh, your in here." Draco walked over to Harry and sat next to him. Harry tried to ignore that fact he was so happy to see him.

"How did everything go?"

Draco looked down. "Not as well as I hoped . . . but we have bigger problems at the moment."

"Is this about Blaise surviving?"

"Yes, but to make a long story short. Voldemort . . . will return. He used Blaise to get information about me and the reason he didn't kill Blaise was because he wanted me to think he was dead and use Blaise against me."

"How did he escape?"

"I don't know, he didn't say."

"Don't you think that's strange?"

"What?"

"That he didn't tell you how he escaped? Do you honestly think that someone could easily escape Voldemort with no harm whatsoever."

"Blaise wouldn't lie about that."

"But he may still be under Volemort's power somehow . . ."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe he's not exactly himself . . . perhaps he's still under the influence of Voldemort. There's no telling what he did to him."

"That's true . . . but I don't think Volemort would make Blaise love me . . . why would he do that?"

"For a very good reason . . . to get to me. I think his intensions were to lure you away from me so he could easily get you and Blaise under his command. Then I would be within his reach."

Draco sighed. Perhaps Harry was right, there was no telling what Voldemort had done to him and he did find it rather strange that Blaise would still love him.

"He was acting strange . . . not like the Blaise I know."

"Then something must be going on. And for something like this . . . we need Hermione."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Granger? why?"

"Be nice."

"It's hard . . ." Draco whined.

"Be nice to her for me, afer all your going to have to learn to get a long with her sometime. Who knows you may actually like her."

"Me, Draco Malfoy be friends with Hermione Granger. I highly doubt that. She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you just stop calling her a mudblood."

"But it's so . . . tempting." Draco smirked.

"Well as tempting as it is, just try to be nice." Harry leaned himself on Draco's shoulder. "Please."

"Alright, fine, but I'm only doing it for you."

Harry smiled. Draco knew this would be the perfect moment to 'take advantage'

Draco playfully threw Harry down on the couch and moved his body on top of his.

"Know what else is tempting . . .?" Draco whispered huskily.

Draco captured his lips pressing himself against Harry.

"D-Draco . . . we can't." Harry tried to pull away.

"Why?" Draco frowned holding himself up.

"B-Because what if someone walks in . . . or if Blaise . . ."

Draco ignored him and continued kissing him. It didn't take long for Harry to give in, Draco ran his fingers through Harry's hair then gripped tightly as he felt his erection grow.

The sound of the door creek open got both boys attention. Ron and Hermione walked in and stood in shock, once again.

"Bloody Hell!" Ron yelled shielding his eyes.

"Hermione . . . Ron?" Harry acted quickly thowing Draco off of him and fixing his hair.

"Dammit . . ." Draco muttered.

Hermione chuckled. "How many times a day do you two snog eachother?"

"Hermione . . . we were just coming to look for you." Harry sat up changing the subject.

"For what?"

Draco looked at Harry then back at Hermione.

"We need your help, Granger." Draco answered. He didn't even think about calling her a mudblood.

**YESSSSS! I'm so excited right now. In a few hours I'm going to see HP Order of the Phoenix midnight premiere! My friends and I are dressing up, I'm wearing my scarf despite the obnoxious weather. And we're drawing scars out our foreheads. And the book is coming out next week! Wow, so many Harry Potter things going on. Yeah . . . I know what your thinking I'm getting far too excited . . . and can you believe I've picked up this obsession only a year ago? A year ago I wanted nothing to do with Harry Potter. That's INSANE! Anyways, this is probably the most hyper you'll ever see me, I don't usually get like this unless I'm with my friends. So sorry if I scared you away. lol **

**Please review! **

**-Manda**


	32. Chapter 32

"Alright, so what your telling me is you feel that Blaise is still somehow under V-Voldemorts power?" Hermione stared at both Harry and Draco.

"Exactly." Harry replied.

"And he hasn't told you anything about how he escaped?"

"No."

"I agree, it is rather strange but I'm not sure how he could be taking over Blaise's mind . . . unless" Hermione stopped.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Perhaps . . . he's already a Death Eater . . . then that would make perfect sense. V-Voldemort could easily control him."

"No . . ." Draco looked down. "He's not a Death Eater." he replied coldly.

"But we don't know if he isn't Draco, for all we know he could be." Hermione answered timidly.

"He wouldn't do it . . . he just wouldn't." Draco shook his head.

"Look," Harry held Draco's hand. "I know this is hard but we have to keep all possibilites open. Hermione may be right."

"How do we find out?" Harry glanced back at Hermione.

"Well there's the one obvious solution . . ." Hermione glanced down at her arm. "If he bears the mark then we'll know."

"How are we going to find that out? Blaise won't talk to Draco."

"Then your going to have to try, Harry." Hermione replied.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Hermione." Harry shook his head.

"You should atleast try, Harry. Even though I think this is complete rubish." Draco rolled his eyes. "He won't talk to me right now."

Hermione frowned. "Is it the fact that Blaise might be a Death Eater that's upsetting you Malfoy, or is it because you didn't think of it first?"

Draco opened his mouth to say something to say something then remembered his promise to Harry.

"What's the matter Malfoy? Is the famous Slytherin at lost for words? They always did say that Slytherins aren't good with words." Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Hermione . . ." Harry glared at her.

"Alright, fine. But if he continues to treat me like this then you can forget my help." Hermione crossed her arms.

Draco cringed. "Sorry . . . Granger."

"Alright, why don't we start by calling each other by our first names shall we?" Harry looked at Hermione. "Hermione call him Draco not Malfoy and Draco call her Hemione not Granger."

"The things I do for you . . ." Draco mumled under his breathe. "Fine, H-Hermione." Draco squinted his eyes.

"I'm going to talk to Blaise." Harry rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Be careful." Hermione called out before Harry slipped out the door.

* * *

Harry stood in front of the Slytherin common room, he took a deep breathe and knocked.

Crabbe answered the door munching on some sort of pastry as usual.

"Potter?" Crabbe asked.

"Crabbe." Harry answered.

"Well what do you know? It's Potter." Goyle stood beside Crabbe. "What do you want?"

"Is Blaise here?"

"Who's askin?" Crabbe sneered.

"Who is it?" Harry heard Blaise call in the background.

"It's Potter." Goyle answered.

Blaise came up behind Crabbe and Goyle and pushed them aside.

"What do you want, Potter?" Blaise closed the door behind him.

"I wanted to talk . . ." Harry folded his arms.

"I have nothing to say to you, Potter." Blaise spat.

"Well I have some things to say to you! You have no right to be mad at me, if anything I should be plunging my fist into your face for what you did."

"Is that a promise?" Blaise glared at Harry.

"Look, I didn't come here to fight, I needed to ask you something . . ."

"Go away, Potter." Blaise turned to open the door when Harry pushed his hand on the door to stop it from opening.

"Blaise, I just want to help you."

"You can't help me!" Blaise sneered turning back to face Harry who grabbed his arm and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the mark of the Dark Lord.

"NO!" Blaise pulled his arm away falling back against the wall.

Harry pulled out his wand and held it in front of Blaise's face. "I knew it."

"No . . . please don't. "

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hex you right now?"

"Please . . . it's not what it looks like."

"THEN WHAT IS IT?! That mark speaks for itself, Blaise."

"But I didn't . . . I didn't want this." tears started to form in Blaise's eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Blaise." Harry lowered his wand.

Blaise took a deep breathe and looked up at Harry.

"W-When I was under the Dark Lords command . . . this happened when Draco's father was still alive. Voldemort set me up . . . an impossible choice was set before me. If I didn't follow under his command then Draco's Father would be killed. Voldemort knew how close I was to Draco and he . . . used that against me. I could not let Draco's Father die, I could not have that burden on my shoulders. So I agreed, with a heavy heart I agreed . . . which I deeply regret. Lucius was killed shortly after and I was told to inform Draco that he would be taking his place. I didn't want this for Draco, so I condemned myself fully under Voldemort's power. I did it all for him . . . now sooner or later I'm going to have to return . . . "

Harry dropped his wand and kneeled down. ". . . I'm sorry."

Blaise used his sleeve to wipe away the tears and sighed. "I-I can't do this Harry . . . I see him, I see him with my waking eyes . . . taunting me, calling my name. I can't remember who I was before, I'm not myself anymore. I love Draco . . . I've always had and I know he doesn't love me back. I can accept that, and honestly if I had to choose someone to be with him it would most definitely be you. I've seen what both of you have gone through and you both deserve each other, you both deserve to be happy and I will not stand in your way."

Harry smiled lightly and sighed.

"You always have a choice to who you become, Blaise. Your not a bad person . . . your a very good person who is just looking out for his friend. I've felt myself becoming different over the years. I thought that I was becoming bad as well . . . I felt like I was loosing control. I still feel like I'm loosing control and it doesn't stop."

"I-I just want to die . . . there's nothing left for me. I've lost everything." Blaise crouched down.

"Stop it." Harry replied coldly. "You haven't lost everything . . . you don't know what it means to lose everything. There is always something to live for, even when it feels you've lost everything. I grew up thinking I was no one, then I come here and it only became worse. Because here I am merely the boy who lived. And I'm sick of it . . . I've had enough of others dying for me and more importantly I'm tired of losing everything. What it comes down to is respect . . . respect for youself and the ones you love. If you don't have that then you might as well be dead."

Harry sighed and placed a hand on Blaise's shoulder. "You always have a choice, Blaise."


	33. Chapter 33

"Please don't tell him yet, Harry . . . I want to tell him myself." Blaise took Harry's hand and stood up.

"If that's what you want, then I swear," Harry assured him. "But you have to tell him soon, we're going to help you, whatever it takes."

Blaise smiled weakly and gave Harry a nod before he turned around to walk back into his dorm.

"Potter." Blaise shot back around and caught Harry just before he walked off. " . . .Thanks." Blaise forced another smile then opened the door and left Harry in the hall.

* * *

Harry had no idea what he was going to tell Draco, he knew he couldn't lie to him without sounding completely fake, especially when knowing this kind of information. Voldemort was on the move, he could only hope that Blaise would come to his senses soon, and tell Draco. As he approached the door to the Great Hall he heard laughter from the other side of the door. Could it be?

Harry opened the door and took a step in and couldn't believe his eyes; Hermione and Draco both laughing . . . not shouting as though they were in a fight but . . . laughing . . . together. It took them a moment to realize Harry was standing there. Draco's laughs became silent and Hermione looked over her shoulder at him standing near the entrace.

"Oh, Harry." Hermione said standing up.

"Were . . . you two just laughing . . .?" Harry asked still puzzled.

"Oh . . . yes, I guess we were." Hermione answered, surprised herself as she looked back at Draco.

Harry smiled and sat down. Draco and Hermione looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to say something but Harry had no idea what to say. Draco tried to lock his gaze but he kept his head low, looking down at the floor.

"So . . .?" Hermione asked.

"Oh," Harry snaped out of it and looked up. "He wasn't there, I went searching for him but Crabbe and Goyle said he went on a walk or something . . . I- I couldn't find him."

Harry finally looked at Draco. Draco's eyes were cold, like something that Harry said had pained him severely.

"Draco . . .?" Hermione asked.

Draco ignored her and looked at Harry. "You didn't find him?"

"N-No." Harry was such a bad liar . . . he could just hear the shaking in his voice.

Draco leaned forward and looked straight in Harry's eyes. "Your lying."

Harry opened his mouth in shock then turned to Hermione who was studying him carefully. "Did you find him, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"No, I told you I didn't find him." Harry snapped.

"Then why are your eyes telling me otherwise?" Draco asked raising an eyebrow.

"W-What . . .?"

Draco watched him closely. "I know when your lying. Your eyes become a darker shade of green, and you won't make eye contact with me." Draco replied.

"Well, I'm not!" Harry folded his arms.

"Harry, if you know something . . ." Hermione began.

"I don't know anything!" Harry yelled.

"Yes you do . . ." Draco said coldly. "I know you better than you know yourself."

Harry stared at him for a moment then looked at Hermione. "Alright, I did talk to Blaise, but I can't tell you anything."

"Why not?" Draco snapped.

"Because I promised I wouldn't." Harry replied.

"That's ridiculous, we can't keep promises at a time like this, promises are nothing! Their broken all the time! He could be in serious danger." Draco frowned.

Harry was horrified to hear that come out of Draco's mouth. Promises were . . . nothing? So how was he sure that Draco would keep his promise to love him? He could already hear the Priest ask Draco "Do you promise to love, honor and cherish him?" Harry cringed at the thought, was was he going to say "I don't make promises, and if I make this one it's okay if I break it?"

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. He wants to tell you himself." Harry replied quietly. "And no matter what the time is, I always keep my promises." Harry glared at Draco and got up and walked out of the hall. Hermione watched Harry walk across the room and slam the door behind him.

"Well that was nicely handled." Hermione sneered as she stood up and followed Harry.

Draco watched Hermione walk out after Harry and sighed deeply when she closed the door. This was so damn frustrating . . . why did Harry have to be so stubborn? Promises . . . he didn't mean it the way it came out, what he meant to say was knowing the information that Blaise gave Harry was far more important than being honest and keeping your promises. Perhaps it was just a Slytherin thing, or a Malfoy thing. Whatever it was made Harry fuming mad at him and now he's back to where he was at the beggining . . . alone. And this time he couldn't run to Blaise. He had told Harry so many times that he loved him, there was nothing he could do to prove it, it was merely a feeling.

* * *

"Harry!" Hermione caught up with him down the hall.

"Save your breath, Hermione." Harry snapped.

"Harry, stop it. He didn't mean that." Hermione snatched his hand.

"What are you talking about, Hermione? Did you not hear what he said?" Harry replied angrily.

"I heard what he said but . . . he didn't mean it like that and you know it." Hermione protested.

"I know nothing." Harry sneered. "I keep ignoring these things that he says and does . . . but I can't ignore it anymore. I just hate things that he says . . . it's like he's never going to change, he'll always be that ass-hole Slytherin and I hate it. He may love me but it's not enough . . ." Harry spoke quietly.

"Harry . . . don't do this. You've got enough trouble to handle without hurting him and yourself, once again."

"But we fight all the time, Hermione . . . we're constantly fighting. That's how people end up getting divorced because they can't get along and sooner or later they grow to hate eachother. I don't want that and that's how I know it's going to end up . . . we're just too different."

Hermione gave Harry a stern glare, she couldn't believe after everything that has happened he still had doubts. Draco was and still is the love of his life. Why was he pushing him away so easily?

"But that's what makes your love for him so real, Harry. No one is perfect, and when your in love you have to take the person for their good points and their flaws. Draco does say things he shouldn't . . . but he means well. He tried so hard to win you over Harry, and he tries so hard to get affection from you. He just wants you to love him and even if you don't want to admit it now, you know you'll regret it if you give this up. You need him, and he needs you."

Harry opened his mouth to say something then closed it again to let Hermione continue.

"Yes, there will be times when you fight, but the more you fight the more you learn about each other. It's a partnership, something you have to work at. And you can not stand there and tell me it's not worth fighting for." Hermione sighed deeply and watched Harry's drawn gaze.

"How did you come up with all that?" Harry smiled.

Hermione smiled back. "Years of practice."

"Why don't you use something like that on Ron?"

"Oh please." Hermione rolled her eyes. "We're not talking about Ronald and I, we're talking about you and Draco."

Harry smirked and placed his arm around Hermione. "Hermione . . . what would I do without you?"

* * *

Blaise stood in front of the Great Hall, he had time to think about what he was going to say to Draco but for some reason he went completely blank. Nothing was there, merely thoughts of seeing Draco's face and his reaction to the whole situation. Perhaps he should have let Harry tell him but he felt wrong about it. So with as much courage he could gather he opened the door and approached Draco who was still sitting in the same posistion on the couch. Draco was starring down at the floor in deep thought when he snapped his attention back and watched Blaise approach him.

"Draco . . ." Blaise said while he sat down. "I'm going to start at the beginning, no interuptions, please. I've tried to plan this ahead but I'm just going to come out with it the best way I can, just promise me one thing . . ."

Draco looked at Blaise and gave him a nod.

"Don't hate me."


	34. Chapter 34

After Blaise had explained to Draco what happened, for some reason he didn't feel much better. He thought once he told him, his concense would be clear but instead he felt guilty . . .

"I . . . don't know what to say." Draco exclaimed calmly.

"I know this is a bit of a shock . . . but you needed to know the truth." Blaise spoke quietly playing with his hands nervously.

"How did you . . . why did you . . . Wait, you mean to tell me that you sacrificed yourself for not only me but my Father as well?"

"Yes . . ."

"And you took my place as a Death Eater so I wouldn't have the same fate as my Father . . .?"

"Yes . . ."

"And you protected me no matter how badly I treated you . . .? Gave yourself over to Voldemort . . . all to save me?"

"YES. What part of this aren't you understanding?"

"I understand but . . . why?"

"Why?" Blaise asked with a sarcastic tone. "Did you not hear a word I said before?"

"I heard everything you said before."

"Then how can you not understand . . .? I said I loved you . . . I still love you . . . I will ALWAYS love you. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, and I've excepted that you can not love me back but, that's why I did it. I never want you to get hurt, Draco . . . never."

Draco couldn't hold it back any longer, the tears started to pour from his eyes, leaving strays off wet marks down his cheeks. Blaise stared at him for a moment, unable to move, unable to bare seeing Draco cry.

"Draco . . . I . . . I'm sorry." Blaise moved closer but didn't touch him. "Do you hate me now . . .?"

"Oh, Blaise . . ." Draco sobbed. "How can I ever hate you . . . fuck, I would do anything in the world to love you back. I swear to you, if I could somehow make it possible I would. I don't deserve this, Blaise. I don't deserve you. Find someone who is worthy of you . . . please. I can not go on knowing that I've done this to you."

"Draco . . . get a hold of yourself . . . I'm alright. I'm going to be fine. I already told Harry that I'm fine with everything . . ." Blaise turned his head, he could no longer watch Draco cry like that, it pained him far too much. "I've excepted it, but your not making it any easier by crying like that . . . I want to hold you, and comfort you . . . but I can't do that when I know I will only make a mistake."

Draco sniffed, and wiped away the tears from his eyes. Blaise's back was turned to him, and suddenly Blaise felt Draco's arm's wrap around his shoulders and pull him close to his chest. "No matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend."

Blaise closed his eyes, letting Draco's words seep in. He wanted to cry so badly, but he wouldn't do it. The last thing he wanted was to make Draco feel worse. So instead, he smiled.

* * *

Harry, Ron and Hermione entered The Great Hall, where Blaise and Draco sat, on the couch, smiling and laughing. 

Draco noticed Harry walk in and stood up. "Harry . . ."

Hermione gave Harry a slight push. He walked on forward and stood in front of Draco.

"Harry, I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean-"

"Shhhh . . ." Harry brought his hand up over Draco's mouth. "It's alright." Draco sighed in relief. "Don't apologize."

Harry patted Draco's shoulder and turned to Blaise. "Have you told him?"

"Y-Yes."

Harry turned back to Draco. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

"No, it's just warm in here, that's all." Draco sat down again.

"Alright, now that we're all on the same page, we need to come up with a plan." Hermione sat next to Harry and Ron.

"As long as the plan doesn't put Blaise in any more trouble." Draco spoke up.

"Draco, that's impossible. He's a Death Eater, his life in danger as we speak." Hermione argued.

"Don't say that!" Draco yelled.

"Draco . . ." Blaise interrupted. "She's right . . . no matter what happens I'm going to be in danger. Don't worry about me, alright?"

"How can I not worry about you? You've done so much for me. The least I can do is _try_ to protect you."

Harry didn't like this conversation. He knew it was wrong of him to be jealous because he knew for a fact that nothing was going on between them but why wasn't Draco as concerned for him? Harry shook his head, now he was just being an ass.

"The fact of the matter is we're all in danger." Harry spoke up.

"He's right." Ron agreed.

Blaise looked at Draco. "They are right, you know."

Draco sighed and looked back at Blaise. "Alright . . . fine, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise."

Harry frowned, what the hell was going on? Yes, Of course Draco felt bad about Blaise but the way he said that . . . it was just too much. Harry shook his head once again . . . he was being a jerk. What the fuck was wrong with him? It was his fault why he and Draco got in so many fights, he wasn't the victum as he thought. He was just a jealous bastard.

"Alright, I presume, since we have Blaise to get more information about what Voldemort is planning." Hermione explained.

"Wait . . . you mean use him as bait?" Draco frowned.

"No, not neccesarily. Harry, would actually be more of the bait . . . Blaise could tell Voldemort that he has tricked Harry into believing he was on his side. Then he can set Harry up into meeting him. What he won't know is we'll have the entire army ready for him." Hermione grinned.

"No . . . I don't want Harry involved in this, at all."

"WHAT?!" Harry had a look of dismay as he turned to Draco. "When did we decide this?"

Damn, Harry was stupid for acting jealous when the whole time Draco had decided Harry wasn't going to fight at all. What was he thinking? He was just going to sit back and watch others die in his behalf . . . again? No. He had told himself that was enough after Dumbledore had died, no more deaths, atleast none that are caused by him.

"I've decided."

"Well you have no right to! Voldemort has taken enough from me, I'm going to fight, and I'm the one that kills him, understand? So whatever your thinking, get it out of you head, because I will NEVER run away."

Draco opened his mouth to say something then closed it again.

"Stop it, now. The both of you. We're in this together . . . no one is alone in this fight. We can either sit here and argue and get absolutely no where or destroy evil once and for all."

Hermione glanced around at the four boys. They all had a similar look to them as though they had finally seen the light clearly.

"I'll leave in the morning." Blaise broke the silence. "I'll tell Voldemort that Harry will be waiting for him in the battle fields."

"No, not the battlefields . . . to obvious." Hermione shook her head.

"What about that field, behind the castle? The one near the lake?" Ron suggested.

Harry and Draco looked at eachother as soon as Ron said it. They both smiled lightly as they remembered that night they spent together . . . it seemed so long ago.

"Brilliant, Ron!" Hermione smiled.

Ron blushed slightly at Hermione's remark.

"Alright, so it's all settled." Hermione said as she glanced at Blaise.

Blaise gave her a nod. "Tomorrow, phase one of our plan begins."


	35. Chapter 35

"Be careful, alright?" Draco whispered as Blaise gathered his things to leave.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Blaise went to hug Draco then stopped himself, instead he gently patted him on the shoulder. "Be safe."

Blaise walked to the door and opened it slowly. "Tell the others not to worry, they can count on me." Blaise said before he shut the door behind him.

Draco stood there for a moment letting Blaise's departure seep in. He couldn't believe this was really happening, he had finally got Harry and would have him forever and yet he could only imagine this whole thing ending in a blood bath. Wasn't that the way it always was? Someone has to _die_, not everyone will survive. Everything he wanted he had, and now it was being pulled away from him, and there was nothing he could do about it. It's the most dreadful feeling in the world to know that your powerless, at least it was according to Draco Malfoy.

"Draco?" Harry asked, as he walked down the stairs rubbing his eyes.

"Morning." Draco said as he turned around.

"Did Blaise leave already? I wanted to see him off."

"Yes he's gone, he told me to tell everyone not to worry. He'll send us word after he gets there."

"Oh," They were silent for a few moments, neither really knew what to say. "Are you okay?" Harry finally spoke.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." Draco smiled.

Draco headed up the stairs and grabbed Harry's waist. "You know, this will probably be our only chance alone for a while."

"Yes that's true." Harry smirked.

"So . . . I was thinking." Draco trailed kisses down Harry's neck as he let out a small moan.

"Are you sure? Because I know your kind of upset right now."

"I'm positive." Draco continued leaving love bites along Harry's neck and down near his collarbone.

"Are you really sure? Because we could talk if you want to."

Draco snapped backwards and raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No, no, not at all." Harry assured him. "I just don't want you to do this because you feel you have to."

"But I _want_ to."

Harry thought for a moment, did he really _want_ to or was he trying to get his mind off of Blaise? He didn't want to take advantage of him when he's in that state of mind but he couldn't help but want to take his offer. He said himself, this would probably their last time a lone before the battle, anyways.

"Okay, that's enough talking." Harry lunged forward, attacking Draco's mouth.

Harry took a step back, trying to pull both of their bodies up he stairs. They knew they had to get to the bedroom, anyone could show up at anytime. Although it wasn't likely because many had gone home for a while after Dumbledore's death, but it was still possible.

"D-Draco _pant_ we _pant_ have to _pant_ get up the stairs."

Draco ignored this and pulled at Harry's shirt, still kissing him on the mouth.

"D-Draco!" Harry yelled trying to get his attention. He had a feeling someone was going to show up and the last thing he wanted was a picture like this all over the newspapers.

"Alright!" Draco yelled as he picked Harry up and ran up the stairs, putting him down once they were at the top and attacked him again.

"Draco, we still have to get to the bloody bedroom!"

Harry did his best making it down the hallway, after colliding with a few walls they finally made it in. They decided somehow, to go into Draco's dorm since no one was there. Draco kicked the door shut behind him and threw Harry roughly on his bed.

* * *

Ron and Hermione walked past Draco's dorm, then Ron stopped as he heard what sounded like a yelp of pain.

"Did you hear that?" Ron asked

"What?"

_"Ah!"_

"That." Ron listened.

"It's nothing Ronald, come on." Hermione tried to get Ron away from the door, she knew very well was was going on behind that door and Ron was too naive to figure it out.

"No wait." Ron listened again. "It sounds like someone is hurt."

"Trust me, Ron we should really get away from the door." Hermione pulled on Ron's robe.

"Why?"

_"D-Don't stop . . . harder!"_

Ron's eyes widened. "Alright, let's go!" Ron dashed down the hallway covering his ears.

"Well perhaps next time you'll listen to me." Hermione chuckled following after Ron.

* * *

"Well, Well, Blaise Zabini, back from the dead." Voldemort hissed. 

"I've done what you asked, My Lord." Blaise replied, narrowing his eyes.

"Have you?" Voldemort stood up and took a step closer to Blaise. "That's a good boy."

"H- Potter, will be waiting for you in the field behind Hogwarts, he wants to face you." Blaise kept still, he was afriad if he moved at all Voldemort would see right through him.

"Good work, Blaise, I may just spare that blonde one . . . what's his name?"

"Draco . . ." Blaise spoke quietly.

"That's right, Malfoy." Voldemort smirked.

* * *

Harry stared at the ceiling for hours it seemed. Usually after he and Draco had done it, he could easily fall asleep but this time he couldn't. He rolled over on his side, tired of counting the dots on the ceiling. 

Draco was sound to sleep next to him, he soft breaths creeping down his neck.

"Draco." Harry whispered. "Are you asleep?" Harry knew very well he was asleep but he wanted to talk to him. He wanted those silver eyes to stare back at him and send a wave of comfort over him.

"Not anymore." Draco groaned.

"Sorry." Harry replied softly.

"It's alright . . ." Draco yawned. "Are you okay?"

"I-I was just wondering something . . ." Harry played with the sheet nervously.

"What is it?" Draco asked rubbing his eyes.

"Well . . . did you notice something different about . . . this?"

"About the sex?" Draco asked.

Harry blushed a little. "Yes, I mean, It just felt different or maybe it was just me." Harry trailed off. "I mean I'm not saying it was bad, I just . . ."

Harry was cut off by Draco's hand over his mouth. "I know what you mean."

"You do?" Harry asked, relieved it wasn't just him.

"Yes, it felt different, but not bad, not at all."

"D-Do you think . . . it was good-bye?"

Draco shot a glare at Harry. He wanted to protest but he kind of felt the same way. Not good-bye as in 'I want to break up with you' but good-bye as 'incase one of us dies.'

"I suppose it feels that way, doesn't it?" Draco asked.

"Yes, it does." Harry replied quietly.

"Harry . . ." Draco moved closer to him but didn't touch him. "I don't want to say good-bye."

"I don't either." Harry burried his face in Draco's chest. "Please don't leave me . . ."

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and sighed. "No matter what happens, I'm not going to leave you, I promise."


	36. Chapter 36

The evening grew dark, as did the shadows of the last remaining students. Everything was quiet after the very last of the students left; not including Harry, Hermione, Ron and Draco.

After Draco had fallen asleep, Harry made his way down to the hidden field behind the castle. He knew that Draco would be furious that he went without him but Harry needed to face him alone. Ron and Hermione had fallen asleep in the Great Hall. Harry did his best not to wake them as he creeped down the stairs. Voldemort wasn't expected until sunrise but Harry couldn't sleep. The invisibility cloak drapped over his shoulder, as he walked to the field. It was around three in the morning, and sunrise was at five so it wouldn't long now. Harry glanced at the field, it looked so much different from that night he had with Draco. Instead of it's warm, and beautiful welcome it was a dark, battle field. A blood bath waiting to be spilt. Harry sat down and starred at the waking stars, their small lights burning through the sky. Suddenly a sound came from behind him. Harry threw on his cloak and sat in silece.

"Harry?" A voice called out.

Harry didn't answer.

"Harry, I know your out here, it's me, Blaise."

Harry threw off his cloak, and turned around. "I'm here, Blaise."

Blaise lightly smile and walked over to where Harry sat. "You thought I was Draco, didn't you?"

"Yes." Harry answered. "I don't want him to be involved in this. No one understands that I have to face him alone."

"I do." Blaise replied. "I understand, and I give you full support."

"Y-You do?"

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because I'll _kill _anyone who interpheres."

Harry's eyes became wide as he stood up, quickly. "What?"

Blaise's laughter came abruptly, this wasn't Blaise at all. Harry's body trembled as his appearance melted away to reveal two yellow eyes starring at him. Harry shuttered and took a step back.

"Ah, Harry Potter." Voldemort said with a small chuckle. "So it is down you, and it is down to me."

Harry reached in his pocket and drew his wand.

"Have it your way." Harry replied with a sneer. "I will _not_ lose to you!"

"You speak so bravely, Harry. It's a shame, I have to kill you." Voldemort hissed as he drew out his wand.

"Don't hold back." Harry smirked, as he held is wand higher.

"Now, now, Harry have you forgotten your manners?" Voldemort shook his head. "We bow."

Voldemort bent his knee and lowered his head to Harry. Harry stood there, refusing to bow to him. Voldemort laughed in his throat and raised his wand to Harry. "Bow."

Harry's body was forced down in front of Voldemort. "There, see. That wasn't so hard was it? Your parents wouldn't have wanted you to forget your manners now would they?"

Harry growled and raised his wand once again. "Expelliarmus!"

"Avada Kadavra!"

Harry had remembered this very clearly during his forth year. It was happening again, his wand and Voldemort's colliding with one another. The only difference was that his parents were not there. He was alone, facing the one monster who had haunted his dreams. Red and green colors filled the sky, the force on either side was strong and becoming stronger as the magic grew thicker.

Harry felt a sudden draft, behind him. He didn't have a chance to turn around to see Draco standing beside him, his wand pointed out in front of him, adding more color to the duel. Harry couldn't speak, Draco was standing nearly infront of the killing curse! Harry thought his heart was going to explode, at any moment he would lose control.

"Go back, Draco!" Harry managed to yell, keeping his eyes on Voldemort's wand.

"NO! I'm not leaving you!" Draco yelled back, keeping his wand posistioned.

"You don't understand! I'm the one who is meant to kill him! You can't kill him, Draco! If you don't leave now, you'll die!" Harry screams turned to sobs as he tried to keep his focus through the blurriness in his eyes. "Please!"

Before Harry could warn him again there was another flash of red light, as he turned to his left and saw Ron and Hermione holding their wands in front of Voldemort's. Harry nearly gasped at the sight. He now had the three people he cared most about in the world standing before death. Harry kept his eyes focused on the wands. He could scarcley see Voldemort through the colors blasting infront of him. But something was changing, a feeling in his arm that wasn't there before. It was getting easier to push forward, which meant Voldemort was becoming weak. Harry closed his eyes for a split second and when he opened them a cloud of blue light was hanging over him, an image in the center he couldn't quite make out until the voice spoke.

"Harry, you need to keep your friends back!" Dumbledore called.

Harry turned to Hermione and Ron, and gave them a shove. Just enough to get their wands out of balance.

"Guys, please stay back! I can do this! You must stay back!" Hermione and Ron could see the horror in Harry's eyes. As long as they have known him, they have never seen this look before. He wanted them to trust him, to listen to him. Hermione and Ron stood back and kept their eyes fixed on Harry.

"Draco!" Harry yelled, leaning over to shove him out of the way without losing his balance. "You must let go! Please, Draco! I love you, I love you so much, please trust me! Let go!"

The first time since he had gotten next to Harry he looked at him, and kept his eyes fixed on his for a moment and pulled away. Harry smiled and put his attention back to where Voldemort stood.

"Harry, you must stop the connection!" The illusion of Dumbledore called again. "Once you stop the connection you must stab him with his wand, it's the only way! His powers are sealed within that wand. Once you let go, I can distract him long enough so you can snatch the wand from his hand. But you must stab him in his chest, Harry!"

Harry's thoughts were spinning, but somehow he managed to keep as calm as possible. He listened to Dumbledore's directions and prepared himself to let go of the wand.

"Ready!" Dumbledore called. "Now!"

Harry let go of the wand, and rushed forward to snatch Voldemort's wand out of his hand. While Voldemort had just realized what happened, Harry had his wand in his hand, holding it above his head.

"Do it now, Harry!" Dumbledore cried out.

Harry didn't hesitate a second longer before plunging the rather sharp edge of Voldemort's wand into his chest. Something happened then, that Harry was not expecting. A sharp pain ran down his arm and through his entire body. Harry gasped in pain as he felt his blood turn to fire, and something hard hit him on the back of his head. He heard Hermione scream in the background and strong arms grab him around his waist. The last thing he saw was Vodlemort's limp body fall to the ground.

"Harry!" Draco held Harry in his arms as he cradled him to his chest. Everything fell silent. Ron and Hermione kneeled down next to Draco. "Harry wake up!" Draco began to sob.

Draco was calling out to him, but Harry couldn't reach him. He couldn't remember where he was, or why it was so dark. The sound of distant voices were becoming clearer, but not clear enough. He opened his eyes slowly, but everything was still black . . . absolutely everything.

"Harry!"

He heard it again, but this time closer.

Harry tried to reach to whoever was calling him but it was so dark. Harry then realized he had his eyes open, but nothing was there. He suddenly felt arms around his waist and wet tears on his face.

"Harry!" Draco gasped at he saw Harry's eyes open. Ron and Hermione huddled closer.

Harry couldn't speak. He could hear and feel them, but there was no one there, it was simply torture, perhaps he did die and now he was in hell.

"Harry, mate, can you hear us?" Ron asked.

"Harry?" Hermione gasped.

Harry swallowed hard. "I can't see!" Harry replied, as he tried to open and close his eyes. "Help!"

Draco lifted Harry up in his arms. "Harry, look at me!"

"I can't see! I can't see!" Harry screamed.

Hermione began to sob, into Ron's shoulder.

"Harry, stop!" Draco cupped his face between his hands. "Calm down."

Harry's breathing was so heavy, Draco needed to get his heart to slow down.

"Hold me . . ." Harry gasped, leaning against Draco's chest. ". . .hold me."

Draco wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "It's alright, shhhh, it's over now."

"He's blind . . ." Hermione gasped.

Draco turned to her. "What?"

"Before H-Harry passed out Voldemort hit him with something . . . it wasn't just any something. It was a stone, a glass stone that only powerful wizards can use. They are known for memory loss, blindness, and deafness. In Harry's case, he has . . . gone blind." Ron tighted his grip around Hermione's shoulders. A look of dismay crossed over his face as he let his head drop, a few tears escaped his eyes.

"It's only temperary right?" Draco nearly whispered.

"No." Hermione replied, as she burried her face in her hands.

"I'm not blind!" Harry spoke abruptly. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again. "Dammit!" Harry yelled, as he began to sob. "Dammit . . ."

Draco gripped Harry around his shoulders and pulled him close.

"Stop it!" Harry pulled himself away and fell backwards.

"Harry!" Draco leaned down and sat him back up.

"Stop it!" Harry yelled throwing his arms and legs around. "Don't touch me!"

Draco pinned down Harry's arms and layed next to him. "Listen to me," Draco stroked the side of Harry's cheek. "It's alright . . ." A sob escaped Draco's throat as he let himself lean on Harry. "I'll take care of you . . ."

**Hey guys, I'm sooooooo sorry it took me forever. I've had a really rough week. I was supposed to update last tuesday but I did something really stupid over the weekend. Let's just say I had a little too much to drink and I almost confessed to my friend that I liked him. And I slept with him . . . well literally. lol I woke up next to him but nothing happened. But still, waking up the next morning barely remembering the night before is scary. Luckily my friends care about me enough to take care of me, and make sure I didn't do anything stupid. Well, now I remember everything that happened that night, and he said some things (That I'm pretty sure was a confession as well) that I want to know if he remembers but we haven't spoken of that night, at all. And I don't know if he remembers. I should write a fan fiction about this! lol so I can say "Inspired by true events."**

**Anyways, sorry about the wait, I'll update soon.**


	37. Chapter 37

Draco sat outside the hospital wing, his face covered in black dirt and dried blood on his lip. Blaise sat next to him in silence, he hadn't the slightest idea of what to say to Draco. Voldemort was dead . . . he was finally dead, all evil had finally been ended. He wished he could have been there, if Voldemort hadn't held him captive he would have been fighting right by their sides. Draco knew that, of course, he didn't need Blaise to tell him.

Hermione and Ron stepped out of the hospital wing, both resembling Draco's lifeless look.

"How is he?" Draco stood up.

Hermione looked down and cleared her throat. "There's nothing they can do, it's perminent."

All four were in silence for a few moments. The sounds of beeping machines, and small chatter reminded Draco of the night he had been taken in. "Can I see him?"

"He doesn't want to see you." Hermione replied quietly.

Draco narrowed his eyes. "He doesn't want to see me?"

"No." She looked up. "He doesn't want to see anyone."

Draco sighed and sat back down, his hands burried in his blond locks. "What am I supposed to do?"

Hermione sat next to him, Ron stood behind her afraid to say anything.

"Just be there for him . . . he needs you now more than ever. You know that when Harry pushes you away it means he needs you the most." She smiled lightly.

"He's sleeping now, mate. You could sneak in." Ron spoke up.

Draco glanced at him then at the entrance to the hospital wing. "I'll just say good night to him."

* * *

Draco approached Harry's bedside, he looked so peaceful when he slept and he never noticed it until now. Perhaps it was because he hadn't looked this content before. Harry wasn't a sound sleeper, he would constantly have nightmares but now that Voldemort was destroyed his dreams were no longer haunted by a monster. 

He kneeled down next to the bed and just gazed at him for the longest time. This is what Harry must have felt like when Draco was in his position. The feeling of helplessness. . .

Draco leaned himself closer to Harry and placed his hand on his, there was silence until Harry's body twitched at the feeling of Draco's hand on his. His eyes flashed open, but he didn't panic because he knew it was Draco's hand.

"It's okay, it's just me." Draco placed a hand on Harry's face.

Harry placed his hand over Draco's and pulled it away. "Please go away."

Draco sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I said go." Harry almost whispered. "I don't want you here."

Draco narrowed his eyes and sighed again. "I don't care what you say to me, I'm not moving."

There was silence for a few moments as Harry gathered his thoughts. He couldn't stand the fact that he couldn't see Draco's expression right now.

"At least until my eyes clear up-"

"Your eyes are not going to clear up." Draco's cut in before Harry could finish. It was almost as if he knew what Harry was going to say.

"Yes they will, it's only temperary." Harry snapped.

"It is not temperary!" Draco stood up. "Harry, you have to accept this . . ."

"I can't!" Harry sobbed. "I just . . . can't."

Draco kneeled down in front of Harry's bed and held his hand. "With or without your eye sight, you are still the most amazing person I know. You saved so many others, Harry. You destroyed evil for good! You-You are . . . beautiful in so many ways. Because your bli- because you simply can't see anymore does not make me love you any less. We've been through so much and survived. I know now, that we can make it through anything."

"When did you come up with that?" Harry asked.

Draco flashed a grin and laughed softly. "I'm getting better."

"I can never see you again . . ." Harry sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I can never see your face . . ."

"Yes you can."

Draco lifted Harry's hands up to his face and let him feel around his eyes, down to his nose, passed his lips and down to his chin. Harry smiled lightly as he remembered Draco's handsome features.

"I can help you, everything will be alright." Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him close. "If you want, we can move the wedding back until you feel comfortable."

Harry didn't reply he just held onto Draco like he was the only thing keeping him alive. He didn't have the strength to talk about the wedding, or argue about it. He didn't want to get married . . . not the way he was anyway. The way Draco was talking about helping him was making him feel like he was marrying him out of pitty not love. He didn't want everyone to be looking at him and judging him by what he lost.

There was a gentle knock on the door before it slowly opened. Ron and Hermione stood at the doorway.

"Can we come in?" Ron asked.

Draco looked back at Harry who gave him a nodd.

Hermione held out her hand and touched Harry's face and pulled him into a firm embrace. "I've never been so proud of you . . ."

Harry smiled lightly as Hermione pulled away.

"We have some news." Ron said.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Lupin is going to be the New Head Master. All students are expected to arrive next week."

"That's great." Harry said.

While Ron spoke to Harry, Hermione took the opertunity to speak to Draco alone.

"Draco, may I speak with you?" Hermione asked.

"Sure."

Draco and Hermione walked outside the room and shut the door behind him.

"What is it?" Draco asked.

"There's a school that Lupin has told us of . . . It's a school for the blind and I think-"

"No." Draco said before Hermione could finish.

"You haven't even let me finish."

"He's not going to any school, I can take care of him myself." Draco was about to grab door handle when Hermione stood in front of him.

"You can't teach him everything he needs to be taught. This school will help Harry develop skills so he can live a normal life."

"I can take care of him." He repeated.

"Draco," Hermione lowered her voice. "I know you care about him and that means doing what's best for him."

Draco opened his mouth to argue but closed it again. He sighed deeply, leaned his head down and rubbed his temples.

"I don't want Harry going to any school."

Hermione was about to agrue then Draco spoke again. "But, I don't think it's our decision."

"Where did Draco and Hermione go?" Harry asked when he noticed he could no longer hear their voices.

"Hermione's talking to him outside." Ron replied.

"About what?"

"Nevermind that, did you and Draco figure out a date for the wedding?"

Before Harry could answer Ron and Hermione walked in.

"Harry, we have something to ask you." Hermione said.

Draco sat back down and took Harry's hand. Hermione hesitated for a few moments.

"Go on." Draco glanced at her.

"There's a school, that Lupin has told us about. It's a school for the blind, and we think it will help you."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "You want to send me away?"

"NO!" Draco gasped. "No, I'm against this whole idea. I am perfectly capable of taking care of you myself."

"But I don't want anyone to take care of me! I don't want that, don't you understand?!"

"Harry, we're not trying to make you do something you don't want but this is your future we're talking about." Hermione said calmly.

"Yeah, mate. I mean, it will only be for a little while." Ron said.

Harry sighed and let go of Draco's hand once again. "I need some time to think."

"Alright, you'll let us know then?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded in response and layed back down. Ron and Hermione left Harry to his thoughts.

"Draco, are you still here?" Harry asked.

"Yes."

"Stay with me?"

"Always."


	38. Chapter 38

Harry sat in silence, his hands brushed through Draco's hair as he slept. His soft breaths brought him back to a time when he could watch Draco sleep, the soft glow on his angelic face. Along with the peaceful image in his head he drifted off to sleep, following after.

"Harry." A soft whisper aroused from the silence. "Harry."

Harry opened his eyes and greeted the same darkness.

"Sorry to wake you." Draco said softly.

"S'alright." Harry replied, his voice still groggy.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"I've been thinking . . ." Draco started, then paused when he watched Harry's expression. "Perhaps you should go . . ."

"What?" Harry's jaw dropped.

"Look, I'm not going along with this because I think it's right. I want you to make you own decision and if you believe it's the best then I don't want me to be the reason you don't go. I think I can go along with this school idea, if I thought it's what you really wanted."

Harry smiled and placed his hand on Draco's. "You _are_ getting better at this."

Draco made a small laugh and took Harry's hand. "I meant what I said."

"I know . . . and I've made a decision."

"Oh." Draco paused. "You have?"

"I've decided I'm going, for a little while. I want to stay here with you more than anything but Hermione is right, there are things I need to be taught that you can't teach me."

"I see." Draco tried to hide the disapointment sound in his voice but he had lost him once and he wasn't about to let that happen again.

"But I have one condition." Harry smiled.

"What is it?"

"Marry me, first."

Draco let his gaze fall on Harry's eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Of course. I don't think it would be fair of me to make you wait any longer."

"Harry, that doesn't matter. I would wait forever if I had to."

Harry appreciated Draco's patience but he was getting impatient himself. He had been through so much with him and there was nothing he wanted more then to call Draco his.

"Forever is a long time, I don't want to wait so long." Harry chuckled and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. "Let's do it."

"Alright." Draco smiled and kissed him gently.

"Sorry to interupt." A voice called from the door way.

Both pulled apart and looked in the direction of the voice. It was Blaise.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" He asked as he approached the bed.

"I'm alright, thank you for what you did."

"I didn't do anything."

"You did." Harry reached out and wrapped his arm around Blaise and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks."

"Well," Blaise pulled away. "I came to warn you."

"About?" Draco glanced at Blaise.

"There is every member from every press outside this Hospital wing, waiting to talk to Harry."

"Bloody perfect." Harry muttered.

"How long have they been out there?" Draco asked.

"All morning."

"Fuck . . ." Draco muttered as he passed a hand through his hair. "We have to get them to leave somehow."

"How do you propose we do that? Voldemort is dead, Harry is a hero. They're going to want interviews."

"Do they know what happened to him?!" Draco stood up forcefully. "Screw their damn interviews!"

"Draco, calm down." Harry replied.

Draco narrowed his eyes towards Blaise then sat down again.

"There's a way we can do this without Harry actually speaking to them." Blaise said.

"How?" Draco asked.

"You and I can go down there, get some questions and write down Harry's answers."

Draco tilted his head and glanced at Harry. "Harry?"

Harry nodded his head in reply.

After Draco and Blaise had gone, Hermione and Ron kept Harry company. Their small talk was turned into various memories of the past. It felt like it was just them three again, just small kids out facing the world. Now they were on their last year of school, all going in totally different directions. It shows how quickly time can change things. In Harry's case, a second changed his whole life. He was now considered "impaired" and he wasn't sure if he was ready to admit that yet. And the most important (which also hit him in a split second) was that he would never be able to play Quidditch again. Ever.

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked. "You look kind of pale."

Before Harry could answer the door swung open. Blaise and Draco ran and in shut the door behind them, both breathing heavily. Ron bit his lip to stop himself from laughing when he saw both of their clothes were torn all over.

"What happened to you two?" Hermione asked sounding concered as opposed to Ron who was turning red.

"Bloody hell . . ." Blaise muttered. "We were nearly attacked out there."

"Nearly?" Draco raised an eye brow.

"We've got the questions, Harry." Blaise said.

"Alright," Harry pulled down some covers and sat up more, erasing his mind of Quidditch.

Blaise took out a piece of paper and read the first question. "What happened when Voldemort first arrived?"

Harry swallowed and thought for a moment. "He wasn't himself, he was disguised as Blaise Zabini. He told me that he would kill any one who tried to interphere."

Draco took note while Blaise continued with the questions. "How did you kill him?"

"I used his wand and stabbed him with it."

"How did you know how to kill him?"

Harry thought, he didn't want to say 'An illusion of Dumbledore told me.'

"Before Dumbledore died, he told me."

"Did you expect to die?"

Both Blaise and Draco looked up at Harry and watched him curiously.

"In full honestly; yes. I was prepared to die, in fact I was almost certain it was my fate. After experiencing everything I've been through; I came to the conclusion that it would come down to just Voldemort and I. One of us _would_ kill the other one. One of us_ would_ die. I always thought it would be me."

Draco looked up from his notes. "Harry, you never told me that."

"It doesn't matter." Harry replied. "If I had told you that before you would have been more worried."

Blaise cleared his throat and looked at the next question. "Have you any injuries?"

Draco glared at Blaise. "I told you not to write that one down."

Blaise glanced at Draco then back at Harry. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"I've become visually impaired." Harry replied.

"Are you sure you want me to write that?" Draco asked.

"Yes." Harry replied. "It's only fair they know the truth. At least now there will be no more lies about me in the paper."

Blaise nodded and looked at the last question. "Do you have any regrets?"

"Many." Harry replied. "But the most important was putting the ones I love in danger. I regret those who had died for me; such as Albus Dumbledore."

Draco took down the rest of Harry's words and handed Blaise the paper.

"I'll send this down." Blaise said as he left the room.

Harry sat in silence reliving the horrors in his mind. Even though Voldemort was dead it was like his pressance still filled the air surrounding him with painful memories.

"You didn't put any of us in danger, Harry." Hermione spoke abruptly. "You can't help who you are and you certainly can't help that you were born into all this."

Harry sighed and smiled lightly. "I know that. But part of me still believes this is all my fault. No matter what words you speak will not convince me otherwise."

"Which is why you are the most stubborn person I've ever met." Draco said.

Harry smiled and laughed softly. "Should we tell them?"

Hermione and Ron looked at Draco. "Tell us what?" Ron asked.

Draco shifted his eyes between Ron and Hermione. "Harry has decided to go to the school."

"That's great!" Hermione gasped. "I'm glad you've decided to go."

"But." Harry interupted. "Draco and I are getting married first."

"It's about time!" Ron smiled. "When?"

"Tomorrow." Harry replied.

"What?!" Ron, Hermione, and Draco said at the same time.

"We didn't discuss that." Draco said sounding scared.

Harry laughed. "Why shouldn't we?"

Draco looked at Hermione and Ron for help. He had agreed to get married before he went but it didn't occur to him that Harry meant tomorrow. That wasn't enough time!

"Your not scared are you?" Harry asked.

"N-No of course not. I mean, a-are you sure your ready?" Draco tried to stop himself from shaking.

"I am if you are."

"Alright, tomorrow it is." Draco smiled. On the inside he was terrified.


	39. Chapter 39

Draco stood in front of his mirror and fixed his bow tie. His hands shook with both excitment and horror. He had never experienced this feeling before, was he actually feeling anxious? The word itself send shivers down his spine.

_"Calm down, everything is alright, get a grip . . ." _He continued to try to calm himself down with words of comfort.

"You look great." Blaise called from the door way.

Draco spun around, startled and nearly fell over. Blaise rushed forward to grab him before his body fell into the mirror.

"You alright?" Blaise asked helping him stand up straight.

"Y-Yes, Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be alright? Do I look alright?" Draco's words ran together as he mumbled.

Blaise laughed softly to himself and decided that it would be better not to say anything about Draco's nerves.

"Good, shall we get going?" Blaise grabbed Draco's jacket on the bed and threw it to him.

"Yes, I'll be right there, just give me a moment." He replied and smiled weakly.

"Alright, but be quick about it. The rest of the guests have arrived." Blaise smiled and closed the door behind him.

Draco let out a sigh of relief and turned back to the mirror. At least there wouldn't be that many guests. They had only invited their close friends and neither of them had parents so there was no reason to be so nervous.

_"This is it, it's time." _He put on his jacket

Abruptly, the door opened again, Blaise poked his head in. "Don't forget your vows, see you down there."

Draco's chest nearly collapsed when he heard the word "vows" repeat in his head.

_"Holy fucking hell, I forgot the bloody vows!" _Draco looked around frantically for a peice of paper and quill. This was the worst thing that could happen at a time like this. He was nervous enough about the damn thing he didn't need any more pressure. He found a quill but no paper, so instead of paper he held out his hand and froze. He heart pounded in his chest like never before as he glanced at the clock. Ten minutes before the ceremony and he had no bloody vows. He was going to have to wing this. He dropped the quill and turned around once more to glance at himself in the mirror.

Harry stood next next to Ron, his shoulders tense. "You didn't tell me the whole damn school would be here." he whispered as he heard the loud chatter.

"Sorry mate, Hermione made the guest list. I couldn't talk her out of it." Ron replied with a weak smile.

"Draco isn't going to like this. I told him it was only our close friends and your family."

"Speaking of Draco, where is he?" Ron shifted his eyes back and forth searching through the crowd until his eyes fell on Draco. His face was paler than usual, and his hands were balled into tight fists.

" . . . Blaise?" Draco stood beside Blaise, his eyes fixed on the large crowd.

"Yeah?"

"What . . . the . . ." Draco turned his head slowly towards Blaise. "FUCK ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?!"

"Draco, calm down. I-I thought you knew."

"Obviously not!"

"Alright, well there's nothing we can do about it. Come on." Blaise lead Draco down the aisle where Harry and Ron stood.

Draco hid his frown and smiled when he saw Harry. "Sorry it took so long."

Harry took Draco's hands and turned towards him. "I'm sorry about the crowd, I didn't know anything about it."

"It's alright . . ." Draco cringed. "Let's just do this."

"Okay."

Draco turned to the Priest and gave him a nod.

As the Priest spoke the crowd went quiet, there was a feeling that they were alone again which is how they both wanted it. Harry wondered how handsome Draco must have looked. He was lost in a day dream when he heard the Priest repeart himself. "Harry Potter, do you take Draco Malfoy to honor and love? In sickeness and health til death do you part?"

Harry found himself hesitating at the question. Why was he hesitating? He knew he loved Draco that wasn't a question but he realized in that moment what a huge promise it was to make to another. But a promise he knew he could make. "I will."

Draco let out a deep sigh and smiled.

"Draco Malfoy, do you take Harry Potter to honor and love? In sickness and health til death do you part?"

"I will."

A few "aw's" were heard in the crowd and Hermione's silent tears in the front row.

"Now Harry Potter will express his written vows."

Harry cleared his throat and kept his voice level. "Draco, the first day I met you, I thought you were selfish, cold hearted and cruel. If someone were to tell me we would be standing here today I would not have believed them in a million years." Draco blushed a little and smirked.

"But over the years I've come to learn that things will surprise you. Life will take you by surprise every chance it gets. You have bewitched me body and soul. You have saved me in every way someone can be saved. Today I give you my life, my heart, forever. I love you."

Hermione let out a gasp and wiped the tears away from her face.

Draco smiled and licked his dry lips. How was he supposed to come up with something better than that?

"H-Harry," _Oh Jeez, come on put yourself together. _He gathered his thoughts and took a deep breath.

_"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where._

_I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;_

_I love you because I know no other way_

_than this: where I does not exist, nor you,_

_so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,_

_so close that when your eyes close I fall asleep."_

-Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda

Harry had never heard something so beautiful, it was perfect and definitely Draco. The next moment passed when the Priest pronounced them married and the crowd cheered. An overwhelming blanket of comfort swept over them both.

The reception was much more comfortable for them both. "It's almost time." Harry whispered to Draco.

"For what?"

"Our dance." He replied.

"Dance?" He raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Honestly do you know nothing about wedding's?" Harry chuckled softy.

"Have I given myself away?" Draco smiled.

"Come on." Harry took Draco's hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

"Honestly, this is so girly." Draco whined.

"Come on, do this for me. It's tradition." Harry placed his hand on Draco's shoulder.

"Alright, but I'll lead. Oh and what song did you pick by the way?"

Before Harry could respond the music started up and the guests stood around the dance floor surrounding them.

_"Look into my eyes_

_And you will see w__hat you mean to me_

_Search your heart, search your soul_

_And when you find me there_

_You'll search no more_

_Don't tell me it's not worth trying for_

_You can't tell me it's not worth dying for _

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do, I do it for you_

_Look into your heart_

_And will find there's nothing there to hide_

_Take me as I am, __take my life_

_I would give it all_

_I would sacrifice_

_Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for_

_I can't help it, there's nothing I want more_

_You know it's true,_

_Everything I do, I do it for you_

_There's no love like your love_

_And no other could give more love_

_There's no where unless your there_

_All the time, all the way_

_Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for_

_I can't help it, there's nothing I want more_

_Yeah, I'd fight for you_

_I lie for you,_

_Walk the wire for you,_

_Yeah, I'd die for you . . ._

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do, I do it for you . . ."_

For some time passes slowly, memories remain clear. For others it passes far too quickly and memories are forgotten. One year later all horrors were forgotten. Harry and Draco took on a new life and family too. Their son; Edward had Draco's silver eyes and Harry's dark hair. They had both gotten what they wanted; someone to care for and the family they always wanted. Although all good things would come to an end, Harry never once thought of what he had lost. This was a new chapter to a new life, and he was determined to never look back. Draco took pride in becoming the Father he always wanted, something he had lost long ago. But he would never forget who saved him, who made his life worth while. His love, his enemy, his pain. But most importantly; his destiny.

The End.

**This concludes the final chapter of My love, my enemy, my pain. Thank you to all who followed me through this story and for your kind words. I believe I've grown since then and I will continue to write. For those that are interested in Naruto, I will be starting a new story called "Suddenly" There is a summary in my profile. Check it out!**


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